Shit My Wife Says vol. 1

When you’re lucky enough to find someone to marry that loves you unconditionally you spend a lot of time with them. Eventually they say some things that honestly make you say ” What The F**k?” but in a sweet innocent confused way.

1. Your Lips Feel Good Between My Teeth
My wife randomly on our drive home said I want to bite your lips. Out of no where my wife becomes carnivorous and laughs. I ask why and she says “your lips feel good between my teeth”. Apparently its because of her love of my lips, but it took a different turn.

2. I Just Wanna Hit The Bird
My wife and I had lunch together and we passed a Canadian goose sitting peacefully in the shade. Minding his own business. This woman I love just decrees “I just wanna hit him. I want to hit the bird” I asked why with a laugh and her reason was that “He was too peaceful”.

3. Have you eaten at olive garden before
This one really threw me for a loop. Its normal for someone to ask a question like that, unless your are one of us. See, this question mind raped me for a moment because MY WIFE asked me have I been to Olive Garden, and that’s where I proposed to her lol. What she meant to ask was did I like Olive Garden enough to go back to it. We laughed a long time after that.

4. That’s some Strong ass Water
At said Olive Garden we had water with our delicious meal and apparently the water had a slightly different taste. She sipped and said “That’s some Strong Ass Water”. I was lost for a second as I tried to figure out how much our water glasses could bench press. I asked what that meant and sipped her water. Hers did have a different taste, maybe the lemon was tart.

I love this woman more than life. I’d give my all for her, move mountains, walk through flames, and take down mobs if necessary. But we have crazy conversations lol.

I’m sure more is to come

-Poetic Ice

image
On our Honeymoon in Nassau

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