Just on a comical note, gravity defies Dachshund faces when upside down. My wife and I photographed this epic for your enjoyment!
Diva The Dachshund
Sooo my life has been stressed as of late and there are a few things that bring me to the brink if a psychopathic rampage now. It would be epic if I’m ever pushed beyond the threshold I’m tap dancing on.
So in an effort to find a therapeutic release that was legal, I made a list.
Standing Too Close During Checkout
This is a huge annoyance. I’m talking terror alert will increase the closer in proximity you are to me. It can occur in any and all checkout lines put I’m pointing fingers, toes, elbows, and flashing neon lights at Wal-Mart. When you are in line and you feel that you just had an uncomfortable, unpleasant threefold with your wife and the middle aged lady behind you then that person is TOO DAMN CLOSE!
In this day and age you must trade your soul, your dog, your first born, and the next pope for a full tank of gas. Honestly when was the last time you saw a full tank of gas and didn’t have a slight regret about the situation?
I know, I’m a vet tech and I’m mandated by law to love all pets equally, BUT I don’t have to like them all. This beautiful guy here comes in two varieties, sweet as pie and satanic worshipper of the dark Lord of the 8th realm. Guess which one I see more often…
Last but certainly not least is this subspecies of primate known as the clown. A being sent from hell to force happiness and joy upon you under the guise of slapstick comedy and facial paint. All attempts to hide their murderous intent to devour your soul as they lack their own. Once the jokes stop and the curtain goes down they roam our lands like the walking dead, laughing, playing weird music, spraying you with toxic chemicals pretending it’s a water gag. It’s no damn gag! It’s probably a sedative to improve their hunting odds and guaranteeing them your soul! If you can’t tell I hate them Sooo much.
This is just the start. What annoys you? Maybe you should blog it just to vent
It’s easy to be crazy, hard to be sane
A fact that rings true much to my disdain/
Oh the humanity
I’m trapped in my sanity
Life’s goal is for you not to be demented/
Not to give someone boots that are cemented/
Just to stay calm and chill
Don’t give in to the orgasmic urge to kill
Be noble, wear a cape like Bruce Wayne
Never be a Joker laughing at a blood stain/
Don’t ever let the blood smear
Hold you sanity very near
I’m wrapped in a straight jacket called society/
Where nut jobs and wackos get notoriety/
They walk loose, everyone is dangerous
Pushing the limits of Gore trying to be infamous/
Yet we are instructed, taught, trained to be sane/
It’s almost a sin to even complain/
Insane sanity, it’s not rare, actually commonplace/
Its almost normal to want to hatchet a face/
But if sanity is insane and insanity is sane/
Then, who is really in the straight jacket? The Joker or Bruce Wayne/
It can really bother the mind
Are you insane? Or sane with an axe to grind?/
Who really knows?
Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form condemning the Lowe’s Home Improvement stores. Just the one idiot I ran into today. That is all. Lowe’s is quite awesome actually.
Today I ventured to Lowe’s with my brother-in-law for our home improvement needs. Anytime we need anything we go to Lowe’s, it’s closer than Home Depot and I personally like the atmosphere better.
NOT TODAY, since we were talked to like a pair of idiots who lacked the ability to do home improvement projects.
We went into the store looking for corrugated glass to replace a window in my home. Just because I feel you should know, the window measured 24×31 inches. Not a real hard concept right? Just pull out your tape measure and look at it, and BOOM you have measurements to go by when you go to the store. Also, on a side note My brother and I are both employed full time at steady jobs, don’t have money leeching vices, or various kids to pay child support for as I’m sure the associate at Lowe’s thought.
The glass panes they had measured out 24×48 inches. That means that said glass needed to be cut down to fit the window. A simple task that is offered at Lowe’s, and one that my Brother-In-Law could do with ease. We sought out an associate to perform the glass cutting task and found a gem of a man whose name I won’t mention. When he approached us he already looked as if we didn’t belong in his section of the store. I brushed that aside as my brother spoke with him. He told him that he needed this glass to replace the window, but he needed it cut down to size. Also that he would like two of them to possibly make it a double paned window again as it was before. This lovely being looked at the price and size of the glass and back at us. His demeanor growing ever more ignorant.
“This is 24×48 inches, and about $57.00.” he said to us with a hint of superiority. My brother responded, “I know, I need it cut down to 31 inches, and would like two of them.” This I thought was a simple task, and not much to ask. I guess I was wrong, and far be it for me to even try to understand how this next turn of events happened. He started speaking with a certain tone of voice. One that hinted he didn’t believe we knew what we were talking about and that we were beneath him. He to us and stared at the price tags and back to us again only to say “You know that means I’m going to have to charge you the full price for these if I cut them.” My brother simply responded “Okay.” I figured that would be the case, we were still taking the product out of the store, so we needed to pay for it. IT’S COMMON SENSE, but that doesn’t stop ignorant comments from coming out.
“You know that means you are paying around $116 dollars. You still want to do that?” Was all he could say. My brother and I made contact and shared a mental “What the F**k” moment then my brother calmly responded to him. “So, I need this cut down to fit my window, it’s only 31 inches.” The man was in a stupor that we still wanted to make a purchase after his announcement of the price. “This is 24×48, I don’t understand what’s going on.” He went on. My brother was starting to get as agitated as I was with the guy. “You know what, I’ll cut the glass myself with the saw that I own.” He said ending the conversation. The man looked at him with a shocked look and back at the glass, “So you are getting it? It’s 48 inches.” He said again as if we broke his Psyche with the thought of us using a saw. My brother nodded and said, “Yup, no problem, my saw could cut it just fine.” and we left him standing there looking like a fool.
We walked off and we were both shocked and amazed that ignorance could just run rampant like that. I’m no naïve kid, and I realize that I’m in South Carolina, but there is still no damn excuse for people to be in disbelief of one another’s abilities. There for damn sure is no excuse to talk down to someone else when they are trying to do something for themselves and you don’t think they have the ability to do so. I personally hate it when I go somewhere and the associate/clerk starts throwing prices at you because they feel you won’t ever be able to afford the services their great establishment offers. Prejudice and Race are an ever present issue in this world, and it seems we’ll never out grow it. I hate the way that guy spoke to us, and acted with us. He was looking around as if we were trained apes sent to prank him. I take solace in the fact that not everyone is like that.
Have you ever encountered Ignorance without reason? Prejudice without precedence? What’s your world like around you? Let me know.
That’s just my 2 cents on the world around me, whether it be ignorant or not.
For the first time in days
I can finally feel the sun’s rays
we’ve been berated by dark
children sat depressed in the park
no light so save our souls
consumed with noir until we are buried in holes
the sun is now all too bright
it’s almost something to fill me with fright.
the once oh so coveted light
it’s almost a sin to feel so right
The dark has changed our mood
now it’s instinctive to be dark and brood
Fix this dark stained world with light
Do it now with your luminous might!
There is this feeling
More like a sensation
No maybe it’s a burning motivation
To steal away your mind
Devour every part of you whole
From your Unbeatable smile
To unbelievable passion between
Between thighs so thick
The mere site make a my nature viciously hard/
I want to explore your wetness/
Fill you up as I kiss you
Take away your air with a stroke of passion/
Give you a stroke of sexual genius/
I love the way your stomach ripples
Especially when I suck on your erect nipples/
Delving deeper into your wet love
Until I finally take your spot
Pushing past her, making you hot
White passion until you supernova
Cell splitting orgasm so good you’ll scream thank you Jehovah/
Slowly, I’ll make my exit in time
Then I’ll use my tongue on you, testing every rhyme/
Tired already, that’s no fun
You better get ready, because that’s only round 1/
They may be prophetic
Each with its own meaning
Trying to teach you something
Hoping you hold onto one thing
Sanity barely in your grip
Some dreams cause it to slip
What’s with this imagery?
Oftentimes cryptic dark imagery
To teach you to cherish the light
Yet filling you with abrasive fright
Fall has arrived, time for rakes
Watch under the leaves for snakes
Betrayal and enemies in the air
Your dream warning, the only thing making this fair/
Terrifying thoughts of death
Maybe even material item theft
What do all these dreams mean
Are they just another bout of rapids in my mental stream?/
So last week I posted Things Vet Techs Don’t Like and hopefully enlightened the world a bit about the the daily aggravation that comes along beside the daily satisfactions Veterinay Professionals have. It was a short list, and definately not the end. Behold!
My Dog Has A Tiny Boo Boo, KILL IT!
The worst thing to see on your schedule for the day next to inventory day is the word EUTHANASIA. The only thing worse than that is when you see, pet has sprained leg, or a tiny cut, maybe even a mass to be examined, and you go triage the room and the owner jumps right to Euthanasia. WHY ARE YOU THINKING LETS KILL IT FOR GETTING A FIXABLE PROBLEM? Now I’m in no way shape or form saying EUTHANASIA is wrong, I’m saying it’s wrong when your dog can have years left with you if you’re willing to work with them and fix their minor issue. If the pet has malignant tumors throughout their thoracic cavity then I understand, but your dog with a superficial mass that can be removed with no problem that isn’t malignant… give me and the pet a break jeez…
Umm, My Appointment was for 3:30, its 3:32 Why Haven’t I Been Seen?
This particular breed of nonsense has been a plague of every Veterinary clinic at some point. Its apparently genetically coded into about a third of your client population to have no patience whatsoever once they cross the threshold of the animal hospital. Operative word being Hospital. This insinuates that it is a place where medical procedures take place, a medical office, a doctor’s office. Much like a family medical doctors office, where one will experience wait times, sometimes one Helluva wait time. One big difference, OUR PATIENTS CAN’T TELL US WHATS WRONG! This often leads to a battery of tests and detective questions until we solve the problem, SO one may have a wait time if their doctor is doing good medicine and trying to help another patient. You what that kind of diligent work done. So does every one else. Stop complaining about it as soon as a few minutes go by Will ya? Disclaimer for all vet hospitals everywhere: we do not own, ever conceived, or plan to produce a one time instantaneous godlike miracle injection that solves the broad spectrum of animal ailments. Stop acting like we have one and being surprised we don’t
What Do You Mean The Vet Is A Human Being That Requires food?
This client baffles me. Truly does. Evey single job that offers full time employment also offers lunch breaks. Whether it’s service industry, retail, medical, anything that is legal you get a lunch break. HUMANS NEED FOOD. So as per human requirement for life Veterinarians take lunch breaks. Some hospitals even close down for the lunch hours. Some are just opened for over the counter sales. That should be something quite easy to understand since we are human. Yet, some clients come in at these times and demand to be seen by the doctor because little Fluffy has been having diarrhea for 7 days. But today at lunch it’s imperative they be seen. Then they get extremely upset that your human doctor is out obtaining sustenance. For shame on the good doctor for the need to eat and function normally.
I Need A Refill Of (Blank) Right Now! Fetch It
I love this client. They come in when it’s at their leisure and randomly request their medication for their pet be refilled. Most clinics have a Refill policy, you most likely need to call in advance. When this client is told this for the millionth time they instantly grow upset and say they were never told this. It doesn’t help their case now that they are being rude about it, and you have a posted sign about this policy. Now they are passed saying you want their pet to die, and we are evil, yet it’s their own personal responsibility to follow policy. Sigh… life is just peachy when you have clients who don’t see how they are at fault.
That’s just my 2 cents on the fantastic world of Vet Techs. …
As you know I write poetry as well as original stories. Sometimes short in length others are novel length. One of my moat Sacred is my novel Titled Sacred Swords. Its a young adult fantasy fiction novel based in modern times. It’s the story of two college students who were on their spring break together during their senior year. They go from normal students to finding out they are descended from God’s and destined to defend the world from a force of true darkness and his physical manifestations of the Seven Deadly Sins. Armed with their Sacred Swords Hurricane, and Soliel they set out to master their newfound abilities and prevent the world’s destruction, all while passing finals. College life is a difficult one.
I’m actually doing a giveaway from now until 9/27 although I may extended it. It’s a simple process. Just go to my Facebook page for the novel, like it, and post something that truly makes me laugh. That’s all, I want to laugh as much as I want you all to enjoy my writing. No gimmicks or purchasing of anything necessary. Just make me laugh and you get a book that I hope you enjoy and share with others
Make me laugh here–> http://www.Facebook.com/SacredSwords
Poetic Ice, aka LeTavious Hemingway
(The winner will be notified and info will be exchanged for the book delivery then.)
Veterinary medicine is a fulfilling field of work. Being a Veterinary Technician is one of the most amazing things I’ve done, and I love my job don’t get me wrong. BUT there are things that really, REALLY just pisses you off or make you say WHAT THE F**K!? I’ve compiled a list.
1. The He Doesn’t Bite Client/Patient
Everybody in veterinary medicine has come across that client that brings in little Tiffany the designer dog who was bred to be obedient, hypoallergenic, and lack the ability to bite. The visit will then have two phrases said. The first, “My little Tiffany doesn’t bite.” Then after two stitches and a million bloody 4×4’s later the client says “She’s never done that before!” Usually they are shocked that Tiffany was part Cujo, But usually they know their dog has a fear or aggression for strangers or people in Scrubs. WARN A PERSON WILL YA?
2. I Want My Services For Free
This particular client comes sprinkled in with your good, bad, and demonic clients. A client comes in, usually when your vet is at lunch or 2 minutes before your office closes, and they come with a laundry list of issues. First, the have never been there, the pet hasn’t seen a vet in 3 years, he makes aggression sound like cuddle time, he’s had an abscess for 2 weeks, symptoms of a UTI, and they aren’t spayed. To top it all off, they came with barely enough money to cover the exam fee. Mind you, some clinics have payment plans and/it accept care credit, but they don’t want that option. You are to take care of this pet for free out of the goodness of your heart. Why? Because you are in veterinary medicine. It’s not to be considered a business, and we are cruel when we can’t do anything for their pet.
3. So, I Googled (Insert Symptom Here)
Google is a miraculous search engine that has been making everyday life easier. UNLESS you work in veterinary medicine. We have clients that hear their pup or kitten sneeze once and they get on Google to find that their pet now has a Zoonotic parasite that causes various forms of cancer and will begin to bleed from their ears after the 7th sneeze. Oh and vaccines kill so they don’t want them. We as veterinary professionals have to work hard to rewrite the brain of the client who now wholeheartedly believes what they read via Google, and save their pet from its killer cold.
4. Owner Compliance, or Lack Thereof
Surgery, it’s really not cheap. Its not easy, and it is an invasive time consuming process that we take very seriously. Nothing is more irritating than when you educate the owner on the risks of improper post surgical care and they STILL don’t comply. Take a spay surgery on a cat or dog. The pet is left with an incision on their belly that the client is to protect by limiting movement and keeping the cone on the pets head AT ALL TIMES! So when the pet comes in with intestines hanging out and the owner has the “This is your fault” attitude we are already passed. But once we ask why and they say it’s because little Tiffany hates her cone, we go through the roof. Why, Why do you come to us just to not listen and gave to pay more money? Especially if you get mad about the price for repair surgery! Jesus…. veterinary medicine can raise your blood pressure.
That is just the tip of the iceberg, this list will be revisited. I’m getting to pissed to continue. That’s just my 2 cents on the matter.