Just on a comical note, gravity defies Dachshund faces when upside down. My wife and I photographed this epic for your enjoyment!
Diva The Dachshund
Sooo my life has been stressed as of late and there are a few things that bring me to the brink if a psychopathic rampage now. It would be epic if I’m ever pushed beyond the threshold I’m tap dancing on.
So in an effort to find a therapeutic release that was legal, I made a list.
Standing Too Close During Checkout
This is a huge annoyance. I’m talking terror alert will increase the closer in proximity you are to me. It can occur in any and all checkout lines put I’m pointing fingers, toes, elbows, and flashing neon lights at Wal-Mart. When you are in line and you feel that you just had an uncomfortable, unpleasant threefold with your wife and the middle aged lady behind you then that person is TOO DAMN CLOSE!
In this day and age you must trade your soul, your dog, your first born, and the next pope for a full tank of gas. Honestly when was the last time you saw a full tank of gas and didn’t have a slight regret about the situation?
I know, I’m a vet tech and I’m mandated by law to love all pets equally, BUT I don’t have to like them all. This beautiful guy here comes in two varieties, sweet as pie and satanic worshipper of the dark Lord of the 8th realm. Guess which one I see more often…
Last but certainly not least is this subspecies of primate known as the clown. A being sent from hell to force happiness and joy upon you under the guise of slapstick comedy and facial paint. All attempts to hide their murderous intent to devour your soul as they lack their own. Once the jokes stop and the curtain goes down they roam our lands like the walking dead, laughing, playing weird music, spraying you with toxic chemicals pretending it’s a water gag. It’s no damn gag! It’s probably a sedative to improve their hunting odds and guaranteeing them your soul! If you can’t tell I hate them Sooo much.
This is just the start. What annoys you? Maybe you should blog it just to vent
It’s easy to be crazy, hard to be sane
A fact that rings true much to my disdain/
Oh the humanity
I’m trapped in my sanity
Life’s goal is for you not to be demented/
Not to give someone boots that are cemented/
Just to stay calm and chill
Don’t give in to the orgasmic urge to kill
Be noble, wear a cape like Bruce Wayne
Never be a Joker laughing at a blood stain/
Don’t ever let the blood smear
Hold you sanity very near
I’m wrapped in a straight jacket called society/
Where nut jobs and wackos get notoriety/
They walk loose, everyone is dangerous
Pushing the limits of Gore trying to be infamous/
Yet we are instructed, taught, trained to be sane/
It’s almost a sin to even complain/
Insane sanity, it’s not rare, actually commonplace/
Its almost normal to want to hatchet a face/
But if sanity is insane and insanity is sane/
Then, who is really in the straight jacket? The Joker or Bruce Wayne/
It can really bother the mind
Are you insane? Or sane with an axe to grind?/
Who really knows?
Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form condemning the Lowe’s Home Improvement stores. Just the one idiot I ran into today. That is all. Lowe’s is quite awesome actually.
Today I ventured to Lowe’s with my brother-in-law for our home improvement needs. Anytime we need anything we go to Lowe’s, it’s closer than Home Depot and I personally like the atmosphere better.
NOT TODAY, since we were talked to like a pair of idiots who lacked the ability to do home improvement projects.
We went into the store looking for corrugated glass to replace a window in my home. Just because I feel you should know, the window measured 24×31 inches. Not a real hard concept right? Just pull out your tape measure and look at it, and BOOM you have measurements to go by when you go to the store. Also, on a side note My brother and I are both employed full time at steady jobs, don’t have money leeching vices, or various kids to pay child support for as I’m sure the associate at Lowe’s thought.
The glass panes they had measured out 24×48 inches. That means that said glass needed to be cut down to fit the window. A simple task that is offered at Lowe’s, and one that my Brother-In-Law could do with ease. We sought out an associate to perform the glass cutting task and found a gem of a man whose name I won’t mention. When he approached us he already looked as if we didn’t belong in his section of the store. I brushed that aside as my brother spoke with him. He told him that he needed this glass to replace the window, but he needed it cut down to size. Also that he would like two of them to possibly make it a double paned window again as it was before. This lovely being looked at the price and size of the glass and back at us. His demeanor growing ever more ignorant.
“This is 24×48 inches, and about $57.00.” he said to us with a hint of superiority. My brother responded, “I know, I need it cut down to 31 inches, and would like two of them.” This I thought was a simple task, and not much to ask. I guess I was wrong, and far be it for me to even try to understand how this next turn of events happened. He started speaking with a certain tone of voice. One that hinted he didn’t believe we knew what we were talking about and that we were beneath him. He to us and stared at the price tags and back to us again only to say “You know that means I’m going to have to charge you the full price for these if I cut them.” My brother simply responded “Okay.” I figured that would be the case, we were still taking the product out of the store, so we needed to pay for it. IT’S COMMON SENSE, but that doesn’t stop ignorant comments from coming out.
“You know that means you are paying around $116 dollars. You still want to do that?” Was all he could say. My brother and I made contact and shared a mental “What the F**k” moment then my brother calmly responded to him. “So, I need this cut down to fit my window, it’s only 31 inches.” The man was in a stupor that we still wanted to make a purchase after his announcement of the price. “This is 24×48, I don’t understand what’s going on.” He went on. My brother was starting to get as agitated as I was with the guy. “You know what, I’ll cut the glass myself with the saw that I own.” He said ending the conversation. The man looked at him with a shocked look and back at the glass, “So you are getting it? It’s 48 inches.” He said again as if we broke his Psyche with the thought of us using a saw. My brother nodded and said, “Yup, no problem, my saw could cut it just fine.” and we left him standing there looking like a fool.
We walked off and we were both shocked and amazed that ignorance could just run rampant like that. I’m no naïve kid, and I realize that I’m in South Carolina, but there is still no damn excuse for people to be in disbelief of one another’s abilities. There for damn sure is no excuse to talk down to someone else when they are trying to do something for themselves and you don’t think they have the ability to do so. I personally hate it when I go somewhere and the associate/clerk starts throwing prices at you because they feel you won’t ever be able to afford the services their great establishment offers. Prejudice and Race are an ever present issue in this world, and it seems we’ll never out grow it. I hate the way that guy spoke to us, and acted with us. He was looking around as if we were trained apes sent to prank him. I take solace in the fact that not everyone is like that.
Have you ever encountered Ignorance without reason? Prejudice without precedence? What’s your world like around you? Let me know.
That’s just my 2 cents on the world around me, whether it be ignorant or not.
For the first time in days
I can finally feel the sun’s rays
we’ve been berated by dark
children sat depressed in the park
no light so save our souls
consumed with noir until we are buried in holes
the sun is now all too bright
it’s almost something to fill me with fright.
the once oh so coveted light
it’s almost a sin to feel so right
The dark has changed our mood
now it’s instinctive to be dark and brood
Fix this dark stained world with light
Do it now with your luminous might!
There is this feeling
More like a sensation
No maybe it’s a burning motivation
To steal away your mind
Devour every part of you whole
From your Unbeatable smile
To unbelievable passion between
Between thighs so thick
The mere site make a my nature viciously hard/
I want to explore your wetness/
Fill you up as I kiss you
Take away your air with a stroke of passion/
Give you a stroke of sexual genius/
I love the way your stomach ripples
Especially when I suck on your erect nipples/
Delving deeper into your wet love
Until I finally take your spot
Pushing past her, making you hot
White passion until you supernova
Cell splitting orgasm so good you’ll scream thank you Jehovah/
Slowly, I’ll make my exit in time
Then I’ll use my tongue on you, testing every rhyme/
Tired already, that’s no fun
You better get ready, because that’s only round 1/
They may be prophetic
Each with its own meaning
Trying to teach you something
Hoping you hold onto one thing
Sanity barely in your grip
Some dreams cause it to slip
What’s with this imagery?
Oftentimes cryptic dark imagery
To teach you to cherish the light
Yet filling you with abrasive fright
Fall has arrived, time for rakes
Watch under the leaves for snakes
Betrayal and enemies in the air
Your dream warning, the only thing making this fair/
Terrifying thoughts of death
Maybe even material item theft
What do all these dreams mean
Are they just another bout of rapids in my mental stream?/