Smiles…. Like ripples in a pond are brilliant when young, and radiate in all directions. But are faint and fleeting in the grand scheme of things. Eventually the pond returns to its stoic calm wondering if the cause of the smile was ever really real to begin with….
What if the calm lie hid the chaotic truth?
Could you tell the difference, could you sleuth?
Both are quite similar, I am unhinged
In or sane, always on the fringe
Discussing mental deficits with vivid imagery
Screaming out my depression with this poetry
All so you think it’s a game
A guise to obtain fame
You think life is a walk in the park
But I’m drowning in my dark
My apologies I meant heart
But where does the dark end and the blood start?
No answer, wait let me make a joke!
Sarcasm can erase every fear I spoke
I’m black let me focus on fighting oppression.
There is no such thing as depression
Such an immaculate costume
Makes my soul spew black fumes
Could you tell the difference in me, could you sleuth?
What if a calm lie, hid the chaotic truth?
-Poetic Ice
I walk the wrong path
Or rather I’m am wrong on my path
Every step I make begets another’s wrath
I am always reminded that I’m wrong
At this point this haunting tune is my song
A them rife with a game show error gong
Just fucking once I’d like to hear “Good job!”
But nope, they’ll never appreciate this blob
At this point I don’t even sob
Forever is my destiny to be one who fails
The guy trying go forward with holes in my sails
The one who is swallowed by the gales
This is my sad familiar song
The one that’s been playing so long
The ballad of one who is forever wrong
-Poetic Ice
The darkness within the light
Ever present ready to break the surface with fright
It’s never far away
Always there, every single day
You thought you were a hero
The world reminded you that your worth is zero
So the darkness is strong
Ever proving the light is wrong
You tried to pray to those above
Lamenting that you wish you were full of love
Wishing your prayers keep the Gods fed
But the crushing pain in your chest tells you God’s dead/
The darkness is ever devouring
Swallowing you down into acid ever scouring
Fist unclenched, loss of will to fight
The darkness has surrounded the light
All light starting to dim and fade
The luminescent swan song is being played
The darkness is all there is, all there will be
The light within dampened, trapped for all eternity
If I wrote you a suicide letter would you reply?
If I let my ink run out, would you let it dry?
Do I have to leave you bereft?
Just to summon the person who left.
Urging the comeback of the man I was
A person who had confidence in all he does
Now I’m adrift in a dark sea
Suffocating in the thought of me
I hate myself, and I’m to blame
Pretty sure I’m clinically insane
Emotions buried down, heart stopping
My two kids, the only thing keeping me from dropping/
I’m constantly climbing out of an insurmountable hole/
Shedding layers of my soul
It would be easier to cease all breath
Welcome the cold embrace of death
They say get hobbies and time will heal
But I have no hobbies, and it hurts to feel
Every second of every day is pain
I crave relief, but my kids make me refrain
But how long will that win?
What can stop this immoral sin?
Maybe I’ll try to talk, write a letter.
Maybe if I vomit words I’ll feel better.
Take a blade to my wrists let the ink flow
Let’s give miracle prose a go.
I’m writing you a suicide letter, will you reply?
But my ink is running out, will you let it dry?
-Poetic Ice
My sweet spring bore a bitter winter
But I can’t recall where my life began to splinter/
I was loved, was the happiest of progeny
Now it seems I’m employed by the depression agency/
This surely wasn’t my life’s plan…
Happy boy, Sad man….
My fragrant breeze of spring beget a pungent gale of winter/
But when did my smile burn to cinders?
I had the entire world, in control of its motion
Now I don’t even master my emotion
Disheartened, broken head of my clan,
The Happy Boy, and Sad Man
-Poetic Ice
The silence I crave never lasts
The whispers of intrusion creep in fast
Exposing the demons from within
Scorching my peace yet again
My brain beats against my skull because something is wrong
The intrusive thoughts are singing their enchanting song
Do the wrong thing, make the wrong remark
Say the wrong thing, hurt everyone’s heart
The Silence I crave is never coming back
Not with anxiety and depression leading the attack
I crave the silence so I can hide
With every thought I’m reminded how my sanity has died
Be quiet, Hide under the covers, Don’t wake!
Shun the light and Don’t heed the voices, They’re Fake!
Push through the pain as your brain rots
Face the mirror backwards to hide from the Intrusive Thoughts
That reflection isn’t you, just because it has your face
it’s intrusive thoughts coming to take your place
Sneering in the inverse beckoning the sin
The depression is starting to manifest, Darkness covets a win
The intrusive thoughts are getting too heavy to lift
Chemicals are waning i’m starting to feel a shift
Becoming forgetful now, forgetting my life’s role
Intrusive thoughts are devouring my soul
So be quiet, get lost in a dream, Don’t wake!
Run from the light, fear the voices, they’re fake!
Endure the sepsis of soul as your brain rots
Face the mirror backwards to hide from the Intrusive Thoughts…
-Poetic Ice
What do you do when feeling useless becomes the norm?
When you’ve given up and got lost in the storm
You’ve gone 12 rounds and got beat down by life
Strewn across the surgery table under anxiety’s knife
Shattered rose colored glasses, blinded to the poetic
Battered by a cyclone of rage, and oh so unapologetic
This is now the normal homeostasis
Forced to go into the world with several wounded faces
You desire to heal those wounds, so down the drugs
Everything is better with daily chemical hugs
to feel normal, be human, this is the cost
But what do you do when you’re doped up and lost?
-Poetic Ice
Failing deeper into darkness
Enveloped in the peaceful rage of night
Serenity causes insanity, peace makes fright/
Despair is abundant, hope not in sight
Falling deeper into the darkness
Enveloped in the peaceful rage of night
poeticice 