Tag Archives: anger

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 16

Rise up and rage against your pet peeves fellow vet techs and populace alike!!! It’s me again your friendly neighborhood Spiderman Vet Tech here with some things that just get on my nerves.


Cage and Kennel Aggression

Let’s start simple this time around. I know I’ve written about this before. But as with many things in this field it comes up often. So, as the title says it’s about a form of aggression that is brought about by simply placing an animal in a cage or kennel. You may not see the rage when you put them in the cage/kennel, but when you go to get them out for any reason that’s when you meet the personification of a rage-filled Shit storm! Nothing is worse and more of a betrayal than a dog that you were just loving on twenty minutes ago now is trying to maul your leg off because you are trying to get them out of a kennel. Usually the door is slammed shut instantaneously as a self-preservation technique then the animal is more angered that you hindered its escape, and now you’re enraged by the new threat you didn’t perceive a moment before. Adrenaline now coursing through both combatants as you now go to your education and experience to use one of your many techniques to get Fido out of the kennel.

The worse situation is a cornered diabetic (doesn’t have to be) cat that woke up that morning wanting to take a life with its bare claws. Not only do they swat your advances with the precision of a shaolin monk fused with a world class boxer, but they have the rage of a wolverine in the small space and the need to lunge at you. For you it’s your job, for them it’s Death before Dishonor!!! I love my Job.

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Invincible Hair

*Taps mic*

Is this thing on? Oh it is? Good.

*clears throat*

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !*!&#*@*&&!**#*$*(%(%($(*****

Excuse me, I just had to get that out. I know I speak for every person on the planet who has been in the present of an animal with hair for more than a few minutes. I know I’m speaking especially to veterinary professionals. I CAN’T STAND INVINCIBLE HAIRS. I say invincible as in nothing that you can do in this reality will free you from it. Let me explain. As a Vet Tech one of our many jobs is to prep a wound/surgical site for the doctor to get in there and do what’s necessary to send the pet home happy. So we have to clip and clean the area. Now we use clippers to shave up all the hair and we take special precautions to not get that hair into the surgical site/wound. Yet, no matter how much care we take there is a stray bastard hair in your field. No amount of flushing or scrubbing frees it. You end up tweezing it or rage quitting. Whichever comes first will do.

Let’s not forget the result of restraining a hairy cat or dog and leaving with a new fur coat that you didn’t ask for. So the powers that be gifted us with the Lint Roller. It will always, and I mean always remove 97.4 percent of the hair from your scrubs. The other 2.6 percent will nonchalantly hang out on your scrub top until you want your lunch or something to drink. Then it will kamikaze dive into your food or beverage and find the spot in the back of your throat or just hang on the corner of your lip. Not only is this disgusting and horrifying you instantly remember every medical problem this pet has ever had. The flashes of the hotspots you’ve cleaned, the demodex mites you’ve seen, oh dear lord the smeared anal glands in dogs fur that you’ve cleaned. All of it is now in your mouth and on your chest. I hate invincible hair.

Hypochondriacs

Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form don’t like or am against people who suffer from the mental illness/condition of Hypochondriasis. This condition is where a person worries about having a serious illness. This is a debilitating condition where a person has a skewed perception about their condition of their body or mind, but in actuality they don’t have any illnesses.

The problem that vet techs have are with the hypochondriacs that put the illnesses on their pets. Now if you see symptoms and that causes worry, that’s understandable. But when you come in and yell at us because your dog scratched itself for 2.5 seconds it now has Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and a zombie parasite from a post-apocalyptic future, we get understandably pissed. We hate that you try to force your beliefs upon us. We try our hardest to convince you that your dog isn’t going to melt or be consumed by flesh eating microscopic monster, but it’s an uphill battle. Seriously, if you suffer from hypochondriasis then seek help from professionals.

For more information about Hypochondriasis you can go to the Mayo Clinic’s website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/illness-anxiety-disorder/basics/definition/con-20124064

 

This is my two cents about things that drive us nuts. Please feed your vet techs before midnight, and don’t get them wet.

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t like volume 15


Welcome friends, family, and newcomers to my Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series. There are drinks and snacked in the corner as well as individually wrapped to go boxes of “What The F**k” ready to go home with you! Enjoy!

Can I Ask About My Other Pet? (Audience Submission)

This question is the bane of veterinary technicians and veterinarians alike. It’s not uncommon for a client to own multiple pets. It’s not uncommon to have the client bring them in for various things at separate times. It makes sense, honestly how often has everyone in your home gotten sick at the same time? Sickness happening one after the other is far more common. But, these clients who have multiple pets with multiple issues always have a lot of questions to ask. That’s all fine and dandy when you have that pet with you and the doctor can thoroughly examine them and answer the questions. It’s the select few who take it upon themselves to leave the other pet at home, but not the questions.

“Thanks for looking at Rex, but can I ask you about my other dog Nexus?” They’ll usually start off, and before the doctor or tech can respond they’ll continue,

“You know how Rex had that small little laceration? Well Nexus has something completely unrelated. He’s been having intense diarrhea, and vomiting sometimes. Some days he keeps water down, others he’s a regurgitation cannon! Some days he has solid stool, and other’s he’s a chocolate milk fountain…” And the insane story will usually continue in that fashion. Now the tech and or doctor are roped in to the situation and have to help this client as best they can. The angering part is that this is usually all the info they can muster. So, now the professionals have to explain the importance of brining in the other pets because that’s the only way to get a clear diagnosis, but they are doubling the time the doctor is in the room, and taking away from the other clients who actually brought their pet that has an appointment. For doctor’s and techs who have an extremely busy day scheduled this one appointment is enough to severely back them up. This now starts a trend of aggravated clients who are forced to wait in the lobby or in their exam rooms. This gives rise to an aggravated doctor who is stressing about getting the rest of the day done in a timely fashion. This births technicians who are pissed off because they take the assault from both ends all because this one client decided to ask about pets that aren’t present. Sounds like a bad day to me…

 

Euthanasia Etiquette

Euthanasia is a service we offer in this business when it is time to end the suffering of a pet in need. That is a part every technician has to learn how to handle and work through. It’s the “Etiquette” of it that is the troublesome thing. Remember, Veterinary medicine is a business so there will be a payment taken for this service. When we take the payment we’ve been groomed by the present day economy and good up bringing to say things like “Have a good day” , “See you soon”, “Thank you for your business”, “Come again soon”, and one of the worse phrases “Now have a good day”. I personally hate if I get caught in a trend of checking people out all day/night and then there is a euthanasia to check out. It’s awkward enough when you have a saddened often times crying client in front of you. It’s made worse when you tell the client to have a nice day. I just want to scream when I slip up and do this. I feel like a friggin fool for it. Most times clients understand your role and just move on with the process. But sometimes you get those extremely sensitive and grief stricken clients that look at you like you’re a sadistic fool. Heck after I make this kind of mistake I feel like they have the right to.

On the flip side of this I’ve had to put down two pets over the last seven months and both times I don’t know what to say to my coworkers when they try to console me or show their support. I just don’t have the proper wording and feel like an idiot when they speak to me. My coworkers will say “sorry for your loss” and I draw a blank, only replaying my last moments with my pet and can barely manage a thank you, or it’s not your fault. I just hate speaking in these moments I guess.

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(Evil!!!) Blocked Cats!

Feline kind had a meeting during the rise of the Egyptian empires of old in North Western Africa and came up with two philosophies,

  1. All of humanity is a sub species created by the almighty lord Bastet to serve all of feline kind in all aspects of life.
  2. As a feline it is your right, nay, your sworn duty to go DEFCON 1 Ape Shit Crazy ONLY when a Vet Tech/Veterinarian is attempting to place and IV/Urinary catheter in you when your urinary tract is blocked.

Since ancient times these were the philosophies that all cats large and small live by each day. So, every vet tech in modern age pretty much wants to strangle the soul out of these cats when they come into the clinic with a urinary blockage. Let me just say not all cats that have a urinary blockage are evil, and some that start off evil once they are unblocked become the nicest kitties in the world. It’s just those unapologetic unforgiving assholes of cat kind that really ruin your entire shift.

Now not only are most of your interactions you going through a Rocky Balboa fused with Wolverine style slap box match, but you’re also playing the keep the cone on the vicious faux rabid cat game. Thank god for IV medications, but my God do we curse under our breath when we have to give an oral or Sub Q injection. “What do you mean I have to touch Satan’s little helper? Person with the DVM please tell me why you hate me?” I swear something so cute and cuddly as a cat can honestly make you want to square up and brawl when they come in with this condition

But that’s just my two cents on the matter. As always there is more to come, tell me just what gets on your nerves too Comment here or hit me up on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi


Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 9

Just like the evil cat in your clinic who’s chronically constipated TVTDL is back again for the 9th time! It seems like this list will be infinite.

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I Need an Annual Done, at 10:30pm

When working in a veterinary clinic you expect impromptu visits from clients to have their pets vaccinated at any given time during the work day. BUT when you’re working the emergency shift you don’t expect for a client to come rushing in on two wheels saying  “I need my annual vaccines done right now! I know It’s 10:30pm, but I need it now!” Okay it’s not my place to say you do or don’t need your vaccines. If you ask me I will always tell you that you need to update your vaccines yearly. BUT WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH IS IT IMPORTANT TO DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!????  If you’re fortunate enough to have a 24 hour facility near you and you want your vaccines done at night go do it if they allow it, but seriously, schedule an appointment during regular hours if you go in and see multiple patients rushed in that got hit by cars or in dog fights or poisoned. You are kind of a non-factor for a moment while they are tended to.

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANIMALS!!!

This has been blogged about before, but it’s always worth mentioning again. Every Veterinary professional in existence has heard this phrase at least once or twice (A week) in their career. “You don’t care about animals, you only care about money!” it’s with a heavy sigh that I again state, Veterinary medicine is a business. Yes we care about animals, but there are still bills to pay. Certain expenses need to be covered to treat your animals. Just like with human medicine there will be expenses involved with receiving care, and more often than not those expenses are higher for emergency care, just like with humans. I promise we’re not money grubbing people. If you seen our checks you would understand that most of the money that you see going into a clinic does just that, it goes towards keeping a clinic running. If only you knew how much money flies out of the door from little minor things such as free nail trims and such that some doctors like to give to their patients as a kindness. Those little things add up over the course of a year to thousands of dollars that the doctor could have made, but didn’t because they chose to give it away. Think about that the next time you stand high and mighty on your soap box and rant that we don’t care about animals.

Insulting The Staff

Okay, I don’t know about other jobs, but in this field we aren’t employees working for a boss. We’re a family that view each other as brothers and sisters, some older, some younger, but you get the picture. We’re a blended family that doesn’t take kindly to you snickering to your friends or boldly insulting us because you don’t like our appearance or something about our hospital. We didn’t come to you and beg for you to enter our building. You came to us. The least you could do is show some respect to the people who are helping to treat your pet. Your personal opinions about the employees of the hospital you are at are not warranted. You don’t know what that particular person is going through at any given time, and that could be the the thing to set them off in an explosive way that could end badly for everyone around. Respect, I repeat, RESPECT those around you. Don’t insult my family, because I’m not insulting yours. Besides you should have some decency as a human being, it’s not like your a cat walking into the clinic looking at your human slaves…

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That’s all I got for you right now, but you know it’s going to keep coming.  Refer your friends to the blog and check out the other entries in the series.

Check out the new facebook page as well- http://www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 8

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Okay… Really? Just Really? Will this list stop? I doubt it. I thought this would be a quick venting mechanism and great practice writing. NOPE It’s my life now apparently. Let’s get the ball rolling…

Chook

Running Around Like A Chicken With My Head Cut Off

Veterinary medicine is a fast paced occupation. More often than not you are multitasking and running from place to place to assist your coworkers or the doctor in some way, all the while you are trying to aid your clients as well. We understand that. We’re prepared for that. We LOVE THAT! or else we wouldn’t be here. BUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!! If you’re the ONE client that comes in and decides you don’t want to tell us every thing you want up front, and would rather us drag your dog back and forth a million times then refer to the picture below please,

screw_u

Don’t have an exam, go to the lobby, Then ask for a nail trim causing us to take your dog to the back and do it. Then ask for anal gland expression once that’s done, and then ask for an ear cleaning after that. You are burning bridges here quickly. Your tech on the case does in fact have MANY other things to do, and if you would have mentioned that upfront instead of hiding it like government secrets it all would have been done before your appointment ended…. Jeez.

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Invasion of Personal Space

The fact that I have to post this infuriates me. Why do you feel that it is socially acceptable to invade mine or my doctor’s personal space. This isn’t a crowded night club, or a social mixer, it’s a Veterinary clinic. So when you decide that we must feel your breath, that isn’t always fresh, on our faces we feel… inclined to be enraged. Pissed even, and grossed the hell out. The vet and the tech should leave the room feeling like they helped you, not like they were forced into a threesome with some creep. It’s simple, DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T BREATH ON ME, DON’T ASSIST ME WITH RESTRAINT UNLESS I REQUEST IT, DON’T TOUCH MY VETERINARIAN, DON’T PAT HIM/HER, DON’T WHISPER TO US IN HUSHED TONES AND GET ODDLY CLOSE TO US, AND LASTLY, BACK THE HELL UP!!!!

thLTMGZOPE

W.A.C.K.

I guess you want to know what that stands for. Well don’t worry, Mr. Poetic Ice will tell you. W.A.C.K. stands for Weird Ass Crazy Kids. Some humans are blessed with kids. Some humans are blessed to not have them, and then there are those inept jackasses that have given birth to these Weird Ass Crazy Kids that spend their young lives following Satan’s word and spreading chaos and destruction. These demons don’t know how to control their voice levels, don’t sit down, touch EVERYTHING, attempt to pet the animal during examinations and vaccinations, ask 100,675 questions, and possibly color on your chairs in the exam room all before they leave. Some would say that’s just part of being a kid, but I don’t recall worshiping the Dark Lord in my youth. We aren’t really mad at the kids, it’s the parents that act like nothing is going on. Did you not see little Michael destroy a bag of dog treats? What about Susie that keeps slapping the cat? Okay, fine, I’ll pray for you since you’re already a prisoner in your own home to little Hitler.

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LIARS

I seriously wish your pants would catch on fire, or your nose would mutate and grow into some sick mass tumor on you face. Why would you feel compelled to lie on anyone about your pet!? Whether its simple lies of omission when the tech is asking questions and you don’t mention something, but you’ll tell the doctor. Or it’s full on you lying saying we did something to harm or endanger your pet intentionally, it doesn’t matter. Why the fuck would you lie on us or to us? Our job is to help you and your pet and you would go out of your way to lie on us? Is this some sick cry for attention? A need for drama? Whatever your reasoning is, we don’t appreciate it. We hate it. If it wasn’t so ungodly we’d hate you, but we’re not like that. We’re Veterinary professionals, and we’ll use logic, and science to combat your lies. We know the truth, and we stand by it, you won’t make us falter or bend to your will.

 

Well that’s my two cents for right now, thanks for reading thus far. Do you have something that irks you in the Vet world? Let me know

Poetic Ice

warning

See all those people I encounter from 9-5 only know Lee

They don’t know that knowing Tavious may come with a fee

Tavious is that one guy you aren’t really ready to see

But sometimes you motherfu- won’t let me be

 Tavious wears Lee’s Halo, but flies with black wings

With a mere utterance I could cripple kings

Yet I have to put up with all that your attitude and you bitching about things?

Can you even comprehend the rage that brings?

 Lee will smile, but Tavious craves to punch you in the face

It’s just what you need to remind you that you don’t run this place

You’re nothing more than a phallic-less disgrace

You’ve rallied the monster and my sanity can’t keep pace

 Simply put, fuck you

My world would have been better without you

This will be the last time Lee will cede to you

Because next time Tavious will burn the world down around you

 ultimate-rage-face

You’ve been warned,

Poetic Ice

 

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 6

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It’s the Christmas season guys and gals, so happy holidays first and foremost. Now that the holiday cheer is out of the way, let’s address the apparent month long psychosis that has affected the people in our current society. No I’m not about to go on a political/cultural/racial rant. I’ll stay grounded in the Veterinary world. A world full of mixed nuts.

1.  THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE MUZZLING MY DOG, AND CHOKING HIM TO DEATH!!!!

Okay, do you guys see the picture above. Take a long look at it. Have that image internalized yet? That is what a vet tech sees when there is an extremely aggressive dog in the examination room that doesn’t want to be there.  I call it the death lunge, either you move out of the way or it’s game over. As veterinary professionals we understand the aggressive pet. It’s probably fear aggression. That’s fine. we can take things slow and if necessary a muzzle will need to be used. In extreme cases chemical restraint becomes an option. It’s for the protection of everyone in the room so we can all go home happy and in one piece. When we pull out muzzles because Jack the Ripper has decided to rend our flesh from bone, don’t go ape shit crazy on us because of your dog’s behavior. Either your dog is untrained or has fear issues. either way it wants to kill and we want to live. Yelling at us saying that we are choking or suffocating your dog is just fucking stupid. I’m sorry but you took me there. It’s fucking dumb. Proper restraint does not choke your dog, and a muzzle doesn’t suffocate. DOGS BREATH THROUGH THEIR NOSES LIKE WE DO!!!!! Get the heck outta here with that foolishness! This one notion alone drives Techs insane!

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2. Hey Doc, I Need A Refill, I Know I Said I Didn’t Yesterday, But I Do Today. Right Now Actually. No I’m out completely…. for real…..

So, I know I went to public school. It may not have been ivy league status, but my preschool teacher taught me this magical thing called counting. It was a skill that I have used EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Apparently this skill is a lost art for many of the clients of veterinary clinics. When your pet is on chronic medication you are in the vet office often for monitoring and or refills. Well if you come for a routine monitoring visit and the Vet Tech and DOCTOR ask you do you need a refill of said medication, we are honestly asking you this. This is no trick or game we are trying to play. We figure you know the inventory of medications in your home and know when you need more. I guess we are wrong to think this. If you say that “I have plenty of medication, I don’t need anymore right now doctor” we believe this fact. We’re not the ones medicating your pet you are. Why should we not believe you. So when you call us less than 24 hours later and say you need a refill of said medication and you need it ASAP because if Fluffy doesn’t get it they break out in hives and become a lycanthrope by midnight, we become confused and pissed off. YOU KNEW YOU NEEDED MEDICATION YESTERDAY!!! If you’re in the building we can fill the script, if you call it in most likely there is a policy in place such as give the doctor 24 hours to fill it because the doctor has actual work to do such as see patients, save lives, run a damn hospital, etc. Now you’re irate on the phone and complaining about service when we tried to service your ass yesterday! Well you wait on your damn medication that we will fill, and pray your werewolf doesn’t take too many lives in the process.

(Lycanthrope=Werewolf for people who don’t want to use Google lol)

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3. Secret Keepers

These are the clients who act like they have something to hide when they make there appointment. They schedule Red for vaccines and get off the phone with a maniacal laugh to themselves. They start rubbing their hands together and in a deep menacing voice proclaim, “I’ll also bring fluffy and Sam along for annuals, and anal glands muahahahahahahahaha!” Or At least that’s what I imagine. All we as veterinary professionals ask is that when you make an appointment, make it for all that you require. It doesn’t hurt our feelings to work. It pisses us off when you add multiple things at the last friggin minute. If you show up for a dental cleaning, don’t add a billion mini mass removals that you are only getting for aesthetic purposes! You know not the wrath of a vet professional scorned, but that is the quickest way to earn it.

Now that’s all, enjoy your holiday, go have fun, and for the love of all that is only keep your pets out of the emergency clinic!

Happy holidays

Poetic ice

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 3

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This is becoming more true each day

It’s time for the third round of Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. at this point I’m sure this list will never end, and I now accept it as therapy. That and wine…

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Insert theme of Cops Here

Calling The Cops
Working in this field you encounter so many different types of people. One of the worse types of people are the ones that skip out on the bill. That one prick you encounter that just decides “I’m not paying my bill because…” They will have some bogus reason that suggest that you are an agent of Satan after money and not an employee of a business collecting payment for services rendered. They’ll make a scene, confusing and/or causing that awkward feeling to spread like a wildfire across the lobby and then leave in a hurried huff. Now you must call the cops because they just stole your services and/or products. In South Carolina, that’s petty Larceny and punishable by a $500 fine and 30 days in jail. Once the cop shows up on your doorstep as an armed bill collector the client usual comes groveling back with payment in hand.

I Don’t Know How Long He’s Been Like This…
That phrase is the most annoying Frickin thing to hear. It’s like saying I’ve been ignorant to the neglect of my animal, but that’s cool. No, no it’s not cool. Coming into any clinic with a pet that has an embedded anything is an instant red flag. Every veterinary professional you see henceforth is a raging bull only concerned with helping your pet, and contemplating calling animal control. We don’t, just don’t understand how something gets embedded without you noticing. How do you not pet or observe your animal enough to see a collar is getting too damn tight? This just infuriates me.

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We're all in the medical field right?

I’m A Doctor/Dentist/Optometrists, Allow Me To Treat You Like Shit
This one affects all in the building, not just the Vet Techs. Every veterinary professional has encountered this. It seems that when other medical professionals need veterinary services they just view us as a group of people playing dress up with puppies and kittens. We must not have any kind of real education and don’t understand the science behind medicine. Other medical professionals more often than not come in and act superior to is and try to act like our degrees and education mean nothing next to there’s. They often try to engage in intellectual sparring and get mad that we can actually jeep up with them. Often they try to tell you how they would treat a problem or what the problem actually is, and once you diagnose the issue and go over treatment they always have something to say. Sweet God this is annoying and infuriating, and makes us borderline violent. What happened to common courtesy, it’s usually these clients that give us the most hell during our work day. They should be the ones that are the most understanding. Nope they’d rather make sure you know you aren’t a Medical Doctor, Dentist, or Optometrist. So we have to remind them that you aren’t a Veterinarian, that’s why you came here. Respect our position and well respect yours.

That’s just a few more for the never ending rage inducing list. Do you have any to add? I’m going to go to sleep before I lose it. That’s just my two cents.

Poetic Ice