Tag Archives: mental health

Poetry

Truth and lies

What if the calm lie hid the chaotic truth?
Could you tell the difference, could you sleuth?
Both are quite similar, I am unhinged
In or sane, always on the fringe
Discussing mental deficits with vivid imagery
Screaming out my depression with this poetry
All so you think it’s a game
A guise to obtain fame
You think life is a walk in the park
But I’m drowning in my dark
My apologies I meant heart
But where does the dark end and the blood start?
No answer, wait let me make a joke!
Sarcasm can erase every fear I spoke
I’m black let me focus on fighting oppression.
There is no such thing as depression
Such an immaculate costume
Makes my soul spew black fumes
Could you tell the difference in me, could you sleuth?
What if a calm lie, hid the chaotic truth?

-Poetic Ice

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Poetry

Light and Dark

The darkness within the light

Ever present ready to break the surface with fright

It’s never far away

Always there, every single day

You thought you were a hero

The world reminded you that your worth is zero

So the darkness is strong

Ever proving the light is wrong

You tried to pray to those above

Lamenting that you wish you were full of love

Wishing your prayers keep the Gods fed

But the crushing pain in your chest tells you God’s dead/

The darkness is ever devouring

Swallowing you down into acid ever scouring

Fist unclenched, loss of will to fight

The darkness has surrounded the light

All light starting to dim and fade

The luminescent swan song is being played

The darkness is all there is, all there will be

The light within dampened, trapped for all eternity

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Poetry

A letter….

If I wrote you a suicide letter would you reply?

If I let my ink run out, would you let it dry?

Do I have to leave you bereft?

Just to summon the person who left.

Urging the comeback of the man I was

A person who had confidence in all he does

Now I’m adrift in a dark sea

Suffocating in the thought of me

I hate myself, and I’m to blame

Pretty sure I’m clinically insane

Emotions buried down, heart stopping

My two kids, the only thing keeping me from dropping/

I’m constantly climbing out of an insurmountable hole/

Shedding layers of my soul

It would be easier to cease all breath

Welcome the cold embrace of death

They say get hobbies and time will heal

But I have no hobbies, and it hurts to feel

Every second of every day is pain

I crave relief, but my kids make me refrain

But how long will that win?

What can stop this immoral sin?

Maybe I’ll try to talk, write a letter.

Maybe if I vomit words I’ll feel better.

Take a blade to my wrists let the ink flow

Let’s give miracle prose a go.

I’m writing you a suicide letter, will you reply?

But my ink is running out, will you let it dry?

-Poetic Ice

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Poetry

Happy boy, Sad man

My sweet spring bore a bitter winter

But I can’t recall where my life began to splinter/

I was loved, was the happiest of progeny

Now it seems I’m employed by the depression agency/

This surely wasn’t my life’s plan…

Happy boy, Sad man….

My fragrant breeze of spring beget a pungent gale of winter/

But when did my smile burn to cinders?

I had the entire world, in control of its motion

Now I don’t even master my emotion

Disheartened, broken head of my clan,

The Happy Boy, and Sad Man

-Poetic Ice

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Poetry

Intrusive Thoughts

The silence I crave never lasts
The whispers of intrusion creep in fast
Exposing the demons from within
Scorching my peace yet again
My brain beats against my skull because something is wrong
The intrusive thoughts are singing their enchanting song
Do the wrong thing, make the wrong remark
Say the wrong thing, hurt everyone’s heart
The Silence I crave is never coming back
Not with anxiety and depression leading the attack
I crave the silence so I can hide
With every thought I’m reminded how my sanity has died

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Poetry

Intrusive Thoughts

Be quiet, Hide under the covers, Don’t wake!

Shun the light and Don’t heed the voices, They’re Fake!

Push through the pain as your brain rots

Face the mirror backwards to hide from the Intrusive Thoughts

That reflection isn’t you, just because it has your face

it’s intrusive thoughts coming to take your place

Sneering in the inverse beckoning the sin

The depression is starting to manifest, Darkness covets a win

The intrusive thoughts are getting too heavy to lift

Chemicals are waning i’m starting to feel a shift

Becoming forgetful now, forgetting my life’s role

Intrusive thoughts are devouring my soul

So be quiet, get lost in a dream, Don’t wake!

Run from the light, fear the voices, they’re fake!

Endure the sepsis of soul as your brain rots

Face the mirror backwards to hide from the Intrusive Thoughts…

-Poetic Ice

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Poetry

Pills for Feels

What do you do when feeling useless becomes the norm?

When you’ve given up and got lost in the storm

You’ve gone 12 rounds and got beat down by life

Strewn across the surgery table under anxiety’s knife

Shattered rose colored glasses, blinded to the poetic

Battered by a cyclone of rage, and oh so unapologetic

This is now the normal homeostasis

Forced to go into the world with several wounded faces

You desire to heal those wounds, so down the drugs

Everything is better with daily chemical hugs

to feel normal, be human, this is the cost

But what do you do when you’re doped up and lost?

-Poetic Ice

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Poetry, world observations

Confessions of a Dark Mind: Suicide Prevention Month

I have brothers not of my mother

grew up with a family like no other

with so much love I could smother

but none of that stopped this crime

I still grew up in a mental bind

welcome to the confessions of a dangerous mind

surrounded by people I was lonely

coveted by girls, I felt homely

flirting with death had become homey

I lived life feeling second best

never afforded a moments rest

not if I wanted to ace that next test

I went to college to paint a collage of ill will

self depreciation increased as I grew in skill

every reflection I saw, I only thought kill

graduation got close, and suicidal thoughts came to a head

permeated with rage, I was only seeing red

all roads were leading to me dead

pat of me felt like there was no help, no one to turn to

I felt like someone you could burn through

but that changed when I met the girl with eyes of brown hue

no more panic attacks and pills

just love unfurling and thrills

simply thinking of your kiss gave me chills

For the first time in a long time I felt okay

I had to question was it right to feel that way

often fearing that feeling wouldn’t stay

a weird feeling going from shroud of darkness to the veil of light

its like going from blind to sight

but not everyone gets that same ending to this fight

Many fight alone and fall from grace

leaving loved ones behind as they take a suicidal end to the race

a lot of times because someone told them to “Man up” to their face

many often need help but are afraid to cry out

Someone yelled for me, now I’m going to shout

Seek the healing help you need, this isn’t the final bout!

You are here with us, not alone

you have a place to belong to, you aren’t without a home

if you need help pick up a phone!

I know this world is sick and sadistic

at this point it needs intervention from something mystic

but get the help you need, don’t become a statistic!

 

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 800-273-TALK (8255)

you have people who love you, if you need help call someone and confide in them. each day is a blessing, don’t cut them short!

Love,

LeTavious “Poetic Ice” Hemingway

mental-illness-stigma

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