Okay… Really? Just Really? Will this list stop? I doubt it. I thought this would be a quick venting mechanism and great practice writing. NOPE It’s my life now apparently. Let’s get the ball rolling…

Running Around Like A Chicken With My Head Cut Off

Veterinary medicine is a fast paced occupation. More often than not you are multitasking and running from place to place to assist your coworkers or the doctor in some way, all the while you are trying to aid your clients as well. We understand that. We’re prepared for that. We LOVE THAT! or else we wouldn’t be here. BUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!! If you’re the ONE client that comes in and decides you don’t want to tell us every thing you want up front, and would rather us drag your dog back and forth a million times then refer to the picture below please,

Don’t have an exam, go to the lobby, Then ask for a nail trim causing us to take your dog to the back and do it. Then ask for anal gland expression once that’s done, and then ask for an ear cleaning after that. You are burning bridges here quickly. Your tech on the case does in fact have MANY other things to do, and if you would have mentioned that upfront instead of hiding it like government secrets it all would have been done before your appointment ended…. Jeez.

Invasion of Personal Space

The fact that I have to post this infuriates me. Why do you feel that it is socially acceptable to invade mine or my doctor’s personal space. This isn’t a crowded night club, or a social mixer, it’s a Veterinary clinic. So when you decide that we must feel your breath, that isn’t always fresh, on our faces we feel… inclined to be enraged. Pissed even, and grossed the hell out. The vet and the tech should leave the room feeling like they helped you, not like they were forced into a threesome with some creep. It’s simple, DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T BREATH ON ME, DON’T ASSIST ME WITH RESTRAINT UNLESS I REQUEST IT, DON’T TOUCH MY VETERINARIAN, DON’T PAT HIM/HER, DON’T WHISPER TO US IN HUSHED TONES AND GET ODDLY CLOSE TO US, AND LASTLY, BACK THE HELL UP!!!!

W.A.C.K.

I guess you want to know what that stands for. Well don’t worry, Mr. Poetic Ice will tell you. W.A.C.K. stands for Weird Ass Crazy Kids. Some humans are blessed with kids. Some humans are blessed to not have them, and then there are those inept jackasses that have given birth to these Weird Ass Crazy Kids that spend their young lives following Satan’s word and spreading chaos and destruction. These demons don’t know how to control their voice levels, don’t sit down, touch EVERYTHING, attempt to pet the animal during examinations and vaccinations, ask 100,675 questions, and possibly color on your chairs in the exam room all before they leave. Some would say that’s just part of being a kid, but I don’t recall worshiping the Dark Lord in my youth. We aren’t really mad at the kids, it’s the parents that act like nothing is going on. Did you not see little Michael destroy a bag of dog treats? What about Susie that keeps slapping the cat? Okay, fine, I’ll pray for you since you’re already a prisoner in your own home to little Hitler.

LIARS

I seriously wish your pants would catch on fire, or your nose would mutate and grow into some sick mass tumor on you face. Why would you feel compelled to lie on anyone about your pet!? Whether its simple lies of omission when the tech is asking questions and you don’t mention something, but you’ll tell the doctor. Or it’s full on you lying saying we did something to harm or endanger your pet intentionally, it doesn’t matter. Why the fuck would you lie on us or to us? Our job is to help you and your pet and you would go out of your way to lie on us? Is this some sick cry for attention? A need for drama? Whatever your reasoning is, we don’t appreciate it. We hate it. If it wasn’t so ungodly we’d hate you, but we’re not like that. We’re Veterinary professionals, and we’ll use logic, and science to combat your lies. We know the truth, and we stand by it, you won’t make us falter or bend to your will.

 

Well that’s my two cents for right now, thanks for reading thus far. Do you have something that irks you in the Vet world? Let me know

Poetic Ice