world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t like volume 15


Welcome friends, family, and newcomers to my Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series. There are drinks and snacked in the corner as well as individually wrapped to go boxes of “What The F**k” ready to go home with you! Enjoy!

Can I Ask About My Other Pet? (Audience Submission)

This question is the bane of veterinary technicians and veterinarians alike. It’s not uncommon for a client to own multiple pets. It’s not uncommon to have the client bring them in for various things at separate times. It makes sense, honestly how often has everyone in your home gotten sick at the same time? Sickness happening one after the other is far more common. But, these clients who have multiple pets with multiple issues always have a lot of questions to ask. That’s all fine and dandy when you have that pet with you and the doctor can thoroughly examine them and answer the questions. It’s the select few who take it upon themselves to leave the other pet at home, but not the questions.

“Thanks for looking at Rex, but can I ask you about my other dog Nexus?” They’ll usually start off, and before the doctor or tech can respond they’ll continue,

“You know how Rex had that small little laceration? Well Nexus has something completely unrelated. He’s been having intense diarrhea, and vomiting sometimes. Some days he keeps water down, others he’s a regurgitation cannon! Some days he has solid stool, and other’s he’s a chocolate milk fountain…” And the insane story will usually continue in that fashion. Now the tech and or doctor are roped in to the situation and have to help this client as best they can. The angering part is that this is usually all the info they can muster. So, now the professionals have to explain the importance of brining in the other pets because that’s the only way to get a clear diagnosis, but they are doubling the time the doctor is in the room, and taking away from the other clients who actually brought their pet that has an appointment. For doctor’s and techs who have an extremely busy day scheduled this one appointment is enough to severely back them up. This now starts a trend of aggravated clients who are forced to wait in the lobby or in their exam rooms. This gives rise to an aggravated doctor who is stressing about getting the rest of the day done in a timely fashion. This births technicians who are pissed off because they take the assault from both ends all because this one client decided to ask about pets that aren’t present. Sounds like a bad day to me…

 

Euthanasia Etiquette

Euthanasia is a service we offer in this business when it is time to end the suffering of a pet in need. That is a part every technician has to learn how to handle and work through. It’s the “Etiquette” of it that is the troublesome thing. Remember, Veterinary medicine is a business so there will be a payment taken for this service. When we take the payment we’ve been groomed by the present day economy and good up bringing to say things like “Have a good day” , “See you soon”, “Thank you for your business”, “Come again soon”, and one of the worse phrases “Now have a good day”. I personally hate if I get caught in a trend of checking people out all day/night and then there is a euthanasia to check out. It’s awkward enough when you have a saddened often times crying client in front of you. It’s made worse when you tell the client to have a nice day. I just want to scream when I slip up and do this. I feel like a friggin fool for it. Most times clients understand your role and just move on with the process. But sometimes you get those extremely sensitive and grief stricken clients that look at you like you’re a sadistic fool. Heck after I make this kind of mistake I feel like they have the right to.

On the flip side of this I’ve had to put down two pets over the last seven months and both times I don’t know what to say to my coworkers when they try to console me or show their support. I just don’t have the proper wording and feel like an idiot when they speak to me. My coworkers will say “sorry for your loss” and I draw a blank, only replaying my last moments with my pet and can barely manage a thank you, or it’s not your fault. I just hate speaking in these moments I guess.

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(Evil!!!) Blocked Cats!

Feline kind had a meeting during the rise of the Egyptian empires of old in North Western Africa and came up with two philosophies,

  1. All of humanity is a sub species created by the almighty lord Bastet to serve all of feline kind in all aspects of life.
  2. As a feline it is your right, nay, your sworn duty to go DEFCON 1 Ape Shit Crazy ONLY when a Vet Tech/Veterinarian is attempting to place and IV/Urinary catheter in you when your urinary tract is blocked.

Since ancient times these were the philosophies that all cats large and small live by each day. So, every vet tech in modern age pretty much wants to strangle the soul out of these cats when they come into the clinic with a urinary blockage. Let me just say not all cats that have a urinary blockage are evil, and some that start off evil once they are unblocked become the nicest kitties in the world. It’s just those unapologetic unforgiving assholes of cat kind that really ruin your entire shift.

Now not only are most of your interactions you going through a Rocky Balboa fused with Wolverine style slap box match, but you’re also playing the keep the cone on the vicious faux rabid cat game. Thank god for IV medications, but my God do we curse under our breath when we have to give an oral or Sub Q injection. “What do you mean I have to touch Satan’s little helper? Person with the DVM please tell me why you hate me?” I swear something so cute and cuddly as a cat can honestly make you want to square up and brawl when they come in with this condition

But that’s just my two cents on the matter. As always there is more to come, tell me just what gets on your nerves too Comment here or hit me up on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi


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world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 8

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Okay… Really? Just Really? Will this list stop? I doubt it. I thought this would be a quick venting mechanism and great practice writing. NOPE It’s my life now apparently. Let’s get the ball rolling…

Chook

Running Around Like A Chicken With My Head Cut Off

Veterinary medicine is a fast paced occupation. More often than not you are multitasking and running from place to place to assist your coworkers or the doctor in some way, all the while you are trying to aid your clients as well. We understand that. We’re prepared for that. We LOVE THAT! or else we wouldn’t be here. BUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!! If you’re the ONE client that comes in and decides you don’t want to tell us every thing you want up front, and would rather us drag your dog back and forth a million times then refer to the picture below please,

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Don’t have an exam, go to the lobby, Then ask for a nail trim causing us to take your dog to the back and do it. Then ask for anal gland expression once that’s done, and then ask for an ear cleaning after that. You are burning bridges here quickly. Your tech on the case does in fact have MANY other things to do, and if you would have mentioned that upfront instead of hiding it like government secrets it all would have been done before your appointment ended…. Jeez.

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Invasion of Personal Space

The fact that I have to post this infuriates me. Why do you feel that it is socially acceptable to invade mine or my doctor’s personal space. This isn’t a crowded night club, or a social mixer, it’s a Veterinary clinic. So when you decide that we must feel your breath, that isn’t always fresh, on our faces we feel… inclined to be enraged. Pissed even, and grossed the hell out. The vet and the tech should leave the room feeling like they helped you, not like they were forced into a threesome with some creep. It’s simple, DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T BREATH ON ME, DON’T ASSIST ME WITH RESTRAINT UNLESS I REQUEST IT, DON’T TOUCH MY VETERINARIAN, DON’T PAT HIM/HER, DON’T WHISPER TO US IN HUSHED TONES AND GET ODDLY CLOSE TO US, AND LASTLY, BACK THE HELL UP!!!!

thLTMGZOPE

W.A.C.K.

I guess you want to know what that stands for. Well don’t worry, Mr. Poetic Ice will tell you. W.A.C.K. stands for Weird Ass Crazy Kids. Some humans are blessed with kids. Some humans are blessed to not have them, and then there are those inept jackasses that have given birth to these Weird Ass Crazy Kids that spend their young lives following Satan’s word and spreading chaos and destruction. These demons don’t know how to control their voice levels, don’t sit down, touch EVERYTHING, attempt to pet the animal during examinations and vaccinations, ask 100,675 questions, and possibly color on your chairs in the exam room all before they leave. Some would say that’s just part of being a kid, but I don’t recall worshiping the Dark Lord in my youth. We aren’t really mad at the kids, it’s the parents that act like nothing is going on. Did you not see little Michael destroy a bag of dog treats? What about Susie that keeps slapping the cat? Okay, fine, I’ll pray for you since you’re already a prisoner in your own home to little Hitler.

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LIARS

I seriously wish your pants would catch on fire, or your nose would mutate and grow into some sick mass tumor on you face. Why would you feel compelled to lie on anyone about your pet!? Whether its simple lies of omission when the tech is asking questions and you don’t mention something, but you’ll tell the doctor. Or it’s full on you lying saying we did something to harm or endanger your pet intentionally, it doesn’t matter. Why the fuck would you lie on us or to us? Our job is to help you and your pet and you would go out of your way to lie on us? Is this some sick cry for attention? A need for drama? Whatever your reasoning is, we don’t appreciate it. We hate it. If it wasn’t so ungodly we’d hate you, but we’re not like that. We’re Veterinary professionals, and we’ll use logic, and science to combat your lies. We know the truth, and we stand by it, you won’t make us falter or bend to your will.

 

Well that’s my two cents for right now, thanks for reading thus far. Do you have something that irks you in the Vet world? Let me know

Poetic Ice

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Poetry

warning

See all those people I encounter from 9-5 only know Lee

They don’t know that knowing Tavious may come with a fee

Tavious is that one guy you aren’t really ready to see

But sometimes you motherfu- won’t let me be

 Tavious wears Lee’s Halo, but flies with black wings

With a mere utterance I could cripple kings

Yet I have to put up with all that your attitude and you bitching about things?

Can you even comprehend the rage that brings?

 Lee will smile, but Tavious craves to punch you in the face

It’s just what you need to remind you that you don’t run this place

You’re nothing more than a phallic-less disgrace

You’ve rallied the monster and my sanity can’t keep pace

 Simply put, fuck you

My world would have been better without you

This will be the last time Lee will cede to you

Because next time Tavious will burn the world down around you

 ultimate-rage-face

You’ve been warned,

Poetic Ice

 

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