Tag Archives: veterinary medicine

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 16

Rise up and rage against your pet peeves fellow vet techs and populace alike!!! It’s me again your friendly neighborhood Spiderman Vet Tech here with some things that just get on my nerves.


Cage and Kennel Aggression

Let’s start simple this time around. I know I’ve written about this before. But as with many things in this field it comes up often. So, as the title says it’s about a form of aggression that is brought about by simply placing an animal in a cage or kennel. You may not see the rage when you put them in the cage/kennel, but when you go to get them out for any reason that’s when you meet the personification of a rage-filled Shit storm! Nothing is worse and more of a betrayal than a dog that you were just loving on twenty minutes ago now is trying to maul your leg off because you are trying to get them out of a kennel. Usually the door is slammed shut instantaneously as a self-preservation technique then the animal is more angered that you hindered its escape, and now you’re enraged by the new threat you didn’t perceive a moment before. Adrenaline now coursing through both combatants as you now go to your education and experience to use one of your many techniques to get Fido out of the kennel.

The worse situation is a cornered diabetic (doesn’t have to be) cat that woke up that morning wanting to take a life with its bare claws. Not only do they swat your advances with the precision of a shaolin monk fused with a world class boxer, but they have the rage of a wolverine in the small space and the need to lunge at you. For you it’s your job, for them it’s Death before Dishonor!!! I love my Job.

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Invincible Hair

*Taps mic*

Is this thing on? Oh it is? Good.

*clears throat*

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !*!&#*@*&&!**#*$*(%(%($(*****

Excuse me, I just had to get that out. I know I speak for every person on the planet who has been in the present of an animal with hair for more than a few minutes. I know I’m speaking especially to veterinary professionals. I CAN’T STAND INVINCIBLE HAIRS. I say invincible as in nothing that you can do in this reality will free you from it. Let me explain. As a Vet Tech one of our many jobs is to prep a wound/surgical site for the doctor to get in there and do what’s necessary to send the pet home happy. So we have to clip and clean the area. Now we use clippers to shave up all the hair and we take special precautions to not get that hair into the surgical site/wound. Yet, no matter how much care we take there is a stray bastard hair in your field. No amount of flushing or scrubbing frees it. You end up tweezing it or rage quitting. Whichever comes first will do.

Let’s not forget the result of restraining a hairy cat or dog and leaving with a new fur coat that you didn’t ask for. So the powers that be gifted us with the Lint Roller. It will always, and I mean always remove 97.4 percent of the hair from your scrubs. The other 2.6 percent will nonchalantly hang out on your scrub top until you want your lunch or something to drink. Then it will kamikaze dive into your food or beverage and find the spot in the back of your throat or just hang on the corner of your lip. Not only is this disgusting and horrifying you instantly remember every medical problem this pet has ever had. The flashes of the hotspots you’ve cleaned, the demodex mites you’ve seen, oh dear lord the smeared anal glands in dogs fur that you’ve cleaned. All of it is now in your mouth and on your chest. I hate invincible hair.

Hypochondriacs

Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form don’t like or am against people who suffer from the mental illness/condition of Hypochondriasis. This condition is where a person worries about having a serious illness. This is a debilitating condition where a person has a skewed perception about their condition of their body or mind, but in actuality they don’t have any illnesses.

The problem that vet techs have are with the hypochondriacs that put the illnesses on their pets. Now if you see symptoms and that causes worry, that’s understandable. But when you come in and yell at us because your dog scratched itself for 2.5 seconds it now has Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and a zombie parasite from a post-apocalyptic future, we get understandably pissed. We hate that you try to force your beliefs upon us. We try our hardest to convince you that your dog isn’t going to melt or be consumed by flesh eating microscopic monster, but it’s an uphill battle. Seriously, if you suffer from hypochondriasis then seek help from professionals.

For more information about Hypochondriasis you can go to the Mayo Clinic’s website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/illness-anxiety-disorder/basics/definition/con-20124064

 

This is my two cents about things that drive us nuts. Please feed your vet techs before midnight, and don’t get them wet.

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 14

There are a myriad of things in this world that just tick off vet techs. SOOO many rage inducing situations where we simply have to smile and move on to our jobs before we catch a law suit against us. Why do we do it? Because we knew going into this job we love animals and want to help them. So if you see a vet tech taking a minute to breath and calm down, let them. Know that they will still do their best for your pet, but yeah, you did piss them off.

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I’m a (Insert medical profession here) so do your job this way

Okay, I know this has been sort of mentioned before. I know my vet tech readers are familiar with this and reading the title instantly recalled a time where this has happened to them personally. For all you civilians let me break it down for you. We just love when someone comes into our clinic seeking help for their pet, but feel the need to tell us how to do our job. Some of the worst encounters we have is with medical doctors who attempt to tell you what test to run and what medications to dose out. A lot of them tend to look down upon us in the field as we aren’t doing human medicine so we aren’t really working. We’re just playing with their animals. The blatant arrogance and disrespect have definitely made me want to punch them in the face and help them eat a stethoscope or two. If you come to the office then let us do what we do, we don’t go to the hospital and tell you what you should be doing.

 

You probably CAN’T answer this question, but…

This phrase before a question will set my fuse off instantly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t claim to know everything in the world. I’m not that arrogant. But I do take my job seriously and have the education to back it that makes me able to either answer or find an answer for a client. Hearing a client say “you probably can’t answer this question, but” before asking something that is usually a fairy easy question to answer. This phrase is heard every once and a while, and that is to be expected. The truly irritating thing is when one client will use it multiple times in one visit. Like for every single question they have to ask you when the doctor isn’t around. Just because technicians aren’t doctors doesn’t mean they are idiots meant to fill space in the clinic. Give us some freaking credit.

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Adherence to policy means you don’t care about animals

Veterinary hospitals go through spells where it seems like every third client will be one in a horrible predicament; their pet will be in dire immediate need of our various services and they will be lacking in the funds necessary to pay for the treatment. I know I’ve brought this up before, but it’s a repetitive thing in my business. It’s also been happening a lot lately for me personally. I bring it up not because of that, but because of the argument that comes after it as of late.

“So, because I don’t have all the money right now you’re just going to let my dog die?”

“You don’t have a payment plan? You don’t care about animals, it’s all about the money for you!”

“I don’t have that kind of money, I’ll just use a bullet instead!”

“This whole business is just a rip off. Nothing you do for an animal should cost that much.”

“You are the devil! You’re supposed to help out of the kindness of your heart, but that’s just a lie isn’t it?”

 

I could go on, but you get the point. Vet techs hate this aspect of the job, but after a while you become so desensitized that it barely fazes you anymore. You know you have to do what you can with what you have to help the animal that’s in need. If you don’t have the funds then you can’t do the test and/or administer medications or surgery. We know that in these times of dire need emotions are running high and tempers flare easily, so we try to keep the situation calm and get the client either out of the door or into a room so we can get to work on the patient. But just know we are pissed off beyond belief because we get truly tired, exhausted from hearing just how evil we are for working at a business. Take a look at the word business there. Do you know what’s required to keep the lights on at a business, to buy the supplies/tools necessary to do the business, employ the staff to work the front and back of said business, to advertise it, to manage it, and last but not least pay the doctors to treat your pets at the business? Money. Money is the requirement, just like at any other business. So why the F**K is that so hard to believe in veterinary medicine? Only the Lord will ever know…….

 

*Takes deep breath* rant over…. This is just my 2 cents on the matter. See you soon!

Poetic Ice

Things Vet Techs volume 13

I’ve reached lucky number 13 of the Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series!!! Thanks for sticking around thus far. You guys/gals are the real MVPs.

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The first point I’d like to make is comical. It’s funny That this even happened in real life, but let’s get to it.

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1. The Preganancy Test Came Back Negative.
Pregnancy is a thing that can be detected easily and early in humans thanks to pregancy tests. They can be bought at almost all convenience stores and even the Dollar Tree. They relay results in a matter of seconds, to and for humans. They can be of aid in life planning, to humans. Sadly, they don’t work on canines and felines… no, nope, sorry, no can do…
W. T. F.
When a client comes in due to their pet having pregancy complications the staff gets into a rush to save the life of your pet and its offspring. We gather a history and go over the price of radiography and possible surgery if it comes to that. All standard procedure, but we get understandably thrown off by you telling us that your home pregancy test came up negative for your pet so you didn’t think this was a possibility. I think I cried laughing when I heard about this. I can’t even with sentient humanity sometimes..

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2. In dog years?
Okay I’d like to think normal sane people with common sense read my blog. Well as sane as us veterinary professionals get anyway. With that said I’m going to ask you a question that I want you to answer without hesitation.

How old is your dog?
See, not complicated right. You answered it mentally without a second thought right. You, like most of the world said “blank” years old. Well we as vet tech’s don’t like when clients come in and retort to the question with, “In dog years?”. (Insert angry face here, preferably one with fangs and fire)
We didn’t ask for that, nor would we ever. It only gets worse when someone gets mentally constipated and can’t calculate it so they get anxious as if now they have signed their dogs death certificate. “I don’t know, I’ve never done The math… wait, hold on I’ll tell you… it’s…. I don’t know” Is what happens next. Its okay that You don’t know, we don’t need it, but don’t bog us down with that As we gather info on your pet. “In dog years” depends on a dog’s breed/size and living situation anyway. Its age determines the protocols we use on it, The actual approximation/conversion isn’t necessary, but it is fun to know.

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3. Self Entitled Pricks
The title says it all, and any vet tech, office manager, and veterinarian can understand it without elaboration. But since I have “civilians” that read this I’ll go into it. Veterinary professionals work in this business knowing that the will encounter a person/family/organization that thinks the work you do should be free or discounted. While you are at it throw in some free prescriptions and a bag of food as well.
I don’t know what it is that compels people into thinking that veterinary medicine is free volunteer work instead of a fully functioning business.

Its a group of professionals providing a service, and that service does come with a fee. The fee is due at the time the services are rendered. Its comparable to taking your care to a mechanic. They expect payment after the labor. They love what they do, just like we do. The difference is they don’t have to take a bullet financially when entitled prices come in. We often have to eat costs, and or give away services for free because of people thinking they deserve it, or worse when they are stolen. I say stolen as in a surgery being done, and a person refusing to pay even though they agreed to, even signed an estimate stating they would. We can’t legally hold your pet until you pay, so that means we have to eat that cost. Its irritating, hell it’s maddening to go through. Enough of that and a owner/office manager has to let staff go. Of it continues a business has to shut down. No one wants that, veterinary professionals need jobs too.

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4. Abandoned Pets
The quickest way to earn the rage and wrath of a vet tech is to abandon your pet. Just the mere mention of such an act earns you their contempt and they never forget it. The fact that you don’t even have the decency to re-home them or take them to a shelter or rescue group is sickening. What if you were left out in the street forced to fend for yourself in a world you don’t understand? No that’s not good enough, let me put it in perspective for you. You abandoning your pet in the streets is like you being ripped from you home and dropped into another country that doesn’t speak your native language with no map, GPS, currency, and supplies to live. Where you will either be killed or just await hour painful death of starvation and parasites. That is basically what one does when they are abandoning a pet. So to hell with you if you do it. The two pups pictured above were abandoned where I work on a freezing winter morning. At least that human chose to leave them at a veterinary clinic, but still what the hell? They were barely off their mothers milk, and honestly probably had another week to go. They are two loving dogs that crave attention and love and fear being alone. Probably because they were ripped from their mom too early… anyway the hospital took them in, gave them someplace warm to live and food. As you all who read my blog know I lost my little Diva recently and my wife and I were looking for another dog. So, these two are my new dogs. We love them to death, and I get enraged every time I think of them being thrown out onto the streets….

That’s volume 13 for ya, hope you like it and can identify. Share it with your friends and family. Hope you have a happy holiday! Now here’s a funny pic just cause.

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-Poetic Ice

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 12

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It’s me Poetic Ice again, and this volume isn’t like the others. It’s more serious. Every technician has probably been through this and understands what this post is about. With that said, let’s get into it.

Loss of a loved one

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The cute little five year old rug rat pictured above is my own Dachshund named Diva. The queen of cuddles, the craver of chicken, and the  bane of bath time! My dachshund was never a dog, she didn’t get the memo. She was a person who had an enormous amount of hair.

I got her from my sister after my then fiancee begged, pleaded, and finally convinced me to get her. She was the first serious mutual commitment we had together. She meant the world to us. She also came at a time when I was taking vet assistant classes so she was my study buddy/test dummy. I learned a lot with this pup at my side.  After getting into the Veterinary profession and learning a lot about our long friend I took every possible measure to prevent her from having any kind of back issue. I gave her plenty of controlled (safe) exercise, gave her a good diet to prevent excessive weight gain, and TRIED to prevent her from jumping on everything possible. For five years I had this battle won. She was the healthiest little runt around.

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But a couple weeks ago my word changed, as my efforts proved all for naught. I to this day don’t know how my puppy was hurt, but she must have had an accident outside playing because she started showing signs of Intervertebral Disc Disease. Her back was hunched and she couldn’t lift her head up. I took her to my job to get her examined and the diagnosis was made. The normal treatment track was taken then. Muscle relaxers, steroids, and pain medications. Strict cage rest and leash walks only. For the next three weeks we played the awful game of wait and see. Every day she would either scream in pain all day, or seem like she’s getting better. All the while no matter how much pain she was in she would wag her tail and be happy to see my wife and I. No matter how my pup felt she was trying to he happy for us. This made it all the more worse being a Vet Tech. I knew nothing short of a surgery I couldn’t afford would help her, but I’ve seen pets take this route and improve. That just wasn’t the case this time.

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Her condition kept worsening so my wife and I made the hardest decision we’ve ever had to. We brought her to my job to be relieved of her suffering. Thanks to my amazing coworkers this was easier, but it was still hard. It was hard as hell to do. I’ve done this process from the other side for years, and have probably become somewhat desensitized. That scar tissue of desensitization was ripped off and I was a fresh open wound of emotion again. My wife and I are still reeling from the event. I’ve even been affected at work. I witnessed an emergency humane euthanasia, and felt like I was going through it all over again. Whatever edge I had over the years is gone currently. The pit of my stomach held a feeling I couldn’t understand until writing this. It was a feeling of despair from not being able to save my own pet, yet I clock in everyday to do just that for others. But that isn’t it, it’s the despair fighting against my passion for this job, and the love I had for my own lovable Diva.  It’s a moment of intense sadness that’s combating against years of joyful memories and experiences. sadness and despair that will turn to lessons in life, and won’t leave me defeated for too long. My Diva wouldn’t want that, if she found me like this she be busy shoving her wet nose in my face and licking me non-stop.

But it still hurts… and It’s one major thing Vet Techs Don’t Like.

-Poetic Ice

-If you have experienced a loss of a loved one, my heart goes out to you. I pray you get through your dark times, I hope we get through them together.

 

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like: Volume 11

Welcome back, yet again It’s time for Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!

It’s been a long long while since I’ve wrote one of these, I apologize for that. As you may or may not know I’m an author and poet and have been focused on other projects, but things still irk me

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Vet Wrap
Now vet wrap is an amazing invention created for the sack of mandating wounds. I just have a few minor annoyances.
1. When you open up a new roll and find it was smoothed over by Loki the trickster God and you can’t find the starting point. Pure rage pours out of me when this happens especially when I have to wrap up a bad dog my teammates are holding that’s growing more satanic by the moment.

2. The no chew aspect of it. Apparently they are coated with a chemical with a foul taste to discourage animals from ripping it off. The lab tech’s who invented this have never met a neurotic dog with anxiety issues. Nothing short of a cone/muzzle/chemical restraint is going to stop them. It’s like an advertised lie lol.

3. When you learn what the no chew chemical taste like. I had a run in with an untrained dog that decided to rip some flesh off my arm, so I had to bandage myself up. I work the emergency shift which is code for skeletal crew so I bandaged my arm on my own initially. I chlorhexed my arm, applied son SSD cream a telfa pad then started to wrap with vet wrap. I then ripped it with my teeth without thinking…..

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My face upon tasting

I tasted this horrid chemical for the next four days. FOUR DAYS!!! No amount of scrubbing short of stripping my lips of skin could save me.

Doctors
As a proud veterinary medicine professional I can proudly say we don’t like going to the doctor. We hate having a reason to go to the doctor, but sometimes things happen I.e.

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Tiny little scrap

Now that scrap was nothing, but did burn like a mother. But if it was a bit deeper it could have been serious. Being hurt impairs us from doing our jobs. If we have to go to the doctor We listen to their game plans and come up with our own treatment alternatives. And Lord forbid we have to be hospitalized because after a full career of putting in catheters and restraining pets you feel like it’s cosmic karma mocking you when you have to get one placed.

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Defeat
This is a serious one here. The despicable low feeling of complete and utter defeat. One that can only be achieved when you invest your heart and soul in a case and you lose the pet on the operating table. In those quick dire moments what you run for the epinephrine and the rebreather but nothing works. When you grow tired from chest compressions when doing CPR, and you feel it in your gut that this fuzzy family member’s soul just left its body. Its moments like this that make you want to fall out and give up, but you don’t. You pick yourself up and dry your eyes and you carry the memory of this pet as you move on to save another. Yes you grow stronger, but you don’t forget, and that feeling will always be a bitch, but a bitch you learn to live with.

Well that’s it foe volume 11, more to come in the future.

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 10

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The clenched fist says it all right. It’s a sign of pure rage in this case. This job is going to forever make me say “Why do we allow humans to procreate?”

Well since we can’t stop that I can still rant right? You all won’t hold that against me? Don’t think you will so here goes for the tenth time in a row, Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!!!!!

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1. MAGGOTS!!!!!!

You see that picture above… It’s a fly. A creepy, disgusting, and annoying little housefly. It lives it’s life in relatively short stages. They start as disgusting little eggs that hatch into a larval stage known commonly as Maggots. Now being a veterinary technician you see all sorts of gross things. soy one becomes conditioned, hardened if you will. But very few vet techs clock in and are ready to see maggots spewing from an abnormal orifice on someone’s pet. Seriously WHAT THE F**K?….. okay got that out. Now let me clarify my rage. if it’s a stray animal that was wounded and then maggots set up shop and some good Samaritan brings it in to have it treated or put to sleep then fine we’ll deal with the grossness with nose plugs and gloves. But the flip side to that is that select group of people who bring in their pet who have maggots falling out of them stating “this just happened today” . If you are a pet owner who cares for their pet then why the hell didn’t you notice a wound on your pet that now is festering and has tons of maggots burrowing through it and eating your pet alive? Not only is this disgusting it’s so rag inducing that it makes me tremble with anger….

Disclaimer: I know that sometimes some pets get out, or run away and accidents happen, and one may not find their pet before something like this happens. This is not a rant towards those who have gone through those unfortunate mishaps.

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2. Inventory 

inventory: Noun, a complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building as defined by the dictionary.

Inventory: Verb: An act that veterinary technicians perform to self induce madness by taking count of every possible product in the building.

Inventory: Adjective, Word to describe pure and unadulterated hate and rage in a nice way. a synonymous term for trying to find shit that doesn’t exist within the clinic that should.

Nuff’ said.

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3. LIQUOR

In this job, especially the emergency portion of it we seem to encounter our fair share of liquor. Now don’t get me wrong plenty of vet techs can agree that a nice cold one after a long day’s work is a great thing, but while you’re clocked in you don’t want to smell or see liquor or it’s remnants. If you come into the clinic somewhat buzzed or full on plastered it’s not a good thing. History gets skewed, and facts will be disoriented, and you’re overly emotional in a time when you need to be calm. Sometimes its down right embarrassing to see an adult acting like an idiot in public or doing idiotic things.  The other side of the liquor spectrum is if you bring in a pet that is suffering from alcohol poisoning I personally think of you as the scum of the Earth. Not only is it asinine, it’s animal abuse which is punishable by law lest we forget. So if you are coming into my clinic giggling about your dog being drunk while this poor animal, a member of your family, is now suffering and may die, don’t expect me to be all bright and cheery with you in the exam room. Quite frankly, to Hell with your feelings, your animal suffering is all i’m concerned about, and if we can prevent any major or long lasting issues then I hope the law is called and you are punished for it…. Jerk-off

Well… there you have it folks that’s volume 10 of Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. That’s my 2 cents on this madness called Veterinary Medicine. Pass it along.

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 9

Just like the evil cat in your clinic who’s chronically constipated TVTDL is back again for the 9th time! It seems like this list will be infinite.

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I Need an Annual Done, at 10:30pm

When working in a veterinary clinic you expect impromptu visits from clients to have their pets vaccinated at any given time during the work day. BUT when you’re working the emergency shift you don’t expect for a client to come rushing in on two wheels saying  “I need my annual vaccines done right now! I know It’s 10:30pm, but I need it now!” Okay it’s not my place to say you do or don’t need your vaccines. If you ask me I will always tell you that you need to update your vaccines yearly. BUT WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH IS IT IMPORTANT TO DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!????  If you’re fortunate enough to have a 24 hour facility near you and you want your vaccines done at night go do it if they allow it, but seriously, schedule an appointment during regular hours if you go in and see multiple patients rushed in that got hit by cars or in dog fights or poisoned. You are kind of a non-factor for a moment while they are tended to.

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANIMALS!!!

This has been blogged about before, but it’s always worth mentioning again. Every Veterinary professional in existence has heard this phrase at least once or twice (A week) in their career. “You don’t care about animals, you only care about money!” it’s with a heavy sigh that I again state, Veterinary medicine is a business. Yes we care about animals, but there are still bills to pay. Certain expenses need to be covered to treat your animals. Just like with human medicine there will be expenses involved with receiving care, and more often than not those expenses are higher for emergency care, just like with humans. I promise we’re not money grubbing people. If you seen our checks you would understand that most of the money that you see going into a clinic does just that, it goes towards keeping a clinic running. If only you knew how much money flies out of the door from little minor things such as free nail trims and such that some doctors like to give to their patients as a kindness. Those little things add up over the course of a year to thousands of dollars that the doctor could have made, but didn’t because they chose to give it away. Think about that the next time you stand high and mighty on your soap box and rant that we don’t care about animals.

Insulting The Staff

Okay, I don’t know about other jobs, but in this field we aren’t employees working for a boss. We’re a family that view each other as brothers and sisters, some older, some younger, but you get the picture. We’re a blended family that doesn’t take kindly to you snickering to your friends or boldly insulting us because you don’t like our appearance or something about our hospital. We didn’t come to you and beg for you to enter our building. You came to us. The least you could do is show some respect to the people who are helping to treat your pet. Your personal opinions about the employees of the hospital you are at are not warranted. You don’t know what that particular person is going through at any given time, and that could be the the thing to set them off in an explosive way that could end badly for everyone around. Respect, I repeat, RESPECT those around you. Don’t insult my family, because I’m not insulting yours. Besides you should have some decency as a human being, it’s not like your a cat walking into the clinic looking at your human slaves…

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That’s all I got for you right now, but you know it’s going to keep coming.  Refer your friends to the blog and check out the other entries in the series.

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