Tag Archives: animals

world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like: Volume 18

Wow, volume 18 huh? we’ve come a long way from a bored Technician ranting two years ago haven’t we? Maybe I should stop, I have matured a lot and grown into a stronger, more patient man and I’m sure you’ve all grown with me…. Grown to the point of confusion and rage at times by the things we encounter… Yeah, no change on that front so the volumes must continue! Let’s get into it shall we, I welcome you to The Boarding Edition

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The Barker

Okay so let’s begin this journey with the most common boarder you will ever encounter in this field. The Barker. This is the dog that is in the kennel whom is a master of sheer destruction via sound waves. Once they enter your facility this beast will never stop barking. Whether it’s high pitched yips or low baritone Woofs, this dog will bark for the duration of its stay at your kennel. This poor beast doesn’t even stop barking to sleep. So since this beast won’t sleep you assume it will stop barking to eat. You are wrong, you naïve fool, so wrong! No meal or treat will stop this dog from singing you the song of its people. After about 8 hours of this The Barker goes through a transformation that takes their bark to the next level. It now barks with enough passion, power, and volume to summon Christ himself. Bless your eardrums.

The Fearful One

This poor unfortunate soul has the title The Fearful One. Nothing makes your job in veterinary medicine more aggravating and dangerous than a fearful. A fearful pet is more likely to get extremely desperate and attack to garner its freedom from you. In the case of boarding, fearful dogs and cats cower into the corners of their cages. I’m talking about an impossibly small ball in the impossibly cramped corner of the cage. All in hopes that it was an accident that you opened their kennel. Once the realization sets in that you meant to do this they activate their next line of defense, excrement. Submissive urination, defecation and emesis from being overly worked up is all a possibility with an extremely fearful dog. Once you breach their second line of defense and clean up the mess their third and final option becomes clear in their mind. It’s a two-parter as well. First these dogs have mastered fear biting and will use it at will if provoked enough, second once they have bit or snapped at you they will escape by any means necessary. Remember this dog isn’t biting you to kill you, it’s doing so to make an opening for escape. These pets aren’t truly aggressive just terrified of you.

The Junkie

This class of boarder is known as The Junkie, or at least by the time you are done with your shift you feel that way about them. This pet is usually at or over geriatric age and has been given a diagnosis that will result in death were it not for the miracle of modern medicine. When you work for a facility that offers medical boarding you are a godsend to those owners who don’t trust a pet sitter to give medications, so take pride in what you do. But, that doesn’t mean we aren’t aggravated by the fact that your P has 7-8 different medications all given at varying dosing times, which are staggered throughout the day and not given together in any way shape or form! My god why can’t they all be given together (If possible lol)? Now every thirty minutes we’re medicating your dog. We don’t mind, but if your pet doesn’t want the pill, we have to use a pill pocket. If they don’t want that we try to hide it in wet dog food. If that fails we enter into a UFC brawl with the pet, putting them in some form of headlock that allows us to pry open their overly powerful jaws to shove a pill down their throat. This method results in one of two options: The dog bites you either by accident or on purpose because we are essentially gagging them for a moment. The second option is that pet NO LONGER trusts us and feels betrayed by our actions making each dosing after that harder. That look of disappointment and disdain afterwards just makes you feel sooo bad, but you remember that he has 72 more pills to take and you don’t feel so bad anymore.

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The Apex Predator

Okay in the mind of an overly creative imaginative vet tech such as myself this is the scenario that plays in my head when it comes to The Apex Predator: The owner of this dog stops at the door and kneels down to whisper into their ear and casts a spell of true malice and malevolence while “Eye of The Tiger” plays softly in the background. As the spell is casts the ancient spirits of prehistoric wolves, velociraptors, and your elementary school bully now possess this dog making him the most demonic thing you will ever encounter in your working life. The Apex Predator enters your facility in pure rebellion of your kennel. It matters not who they see, they will bite/claw/maim all that are unfortunate enough to pass them. They exhibit multiple forms of aggression. Cage aggression, kennel aggression, dog aggression, male aggression, there was a breeze aggression, I hear a voice aggression, you have a mother and father aggression, all of them. It’s safe to say that this pet was a T-rex in its past life. When the owner comes to pick up the spell is broken and they become extremely cuddly towards you and everyone around you. This cast the illusion that he was like this for his entire stay. This then prompts the owner to schedule another visit with your facility, YAY!!! But, they only try to do it when you work, NOOOOOOO!!!!

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The Cat

This is plain and simple. The Cat isn’t a complicated boarder, but it can be the most exhausting of the lot. Cats are either sweet cuddly balls of fur that you love to rub on and give attention while they stay with you. Or they are dark malicious phantasms born of fire, brimstone, hate and dragon’s piss! Sent fourth from the bowels of hell to render your mind, body, and soul null and void as it reigns down its unholy terror upon you. All just to feast on what remains of your dried up husk of a vet tech simply because it was mad at the fact that it was brought to your kennel. Yup, simple indeed. A purr angel, or Lucifer’s left nut, that’s what you get with cats.

But that’s just my two cent on the matter. Remember these are just the over simplifications and exaggerations of what we do at the job for satirical purposes. Not a direct reflection of any facility. Except the cat part… that’s just life.

-Poetic Ice

 

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Poetry

Missing your Pet

From the moment we locked eyes

My heart ascended into the skies

Oh the countless times I nuzzled your muzzle

You were the final piece to my life’s puzzle

My amazing little rambunctious ball of fur

Who would’ve imagined you would make my heart stir

Every step of the way I watched your paws grow

Conquering each day with a new story in tow

Constant wondering if you’ll ever be fully obedient

Accepting your hair as a fundamental food ingredient

Saying less you when you sneeze

Talking to you put my soul at ease

That’s why it saddens me to be left behind

When you crossed that rainbow bridge for the color blind

I send you my love and hope angels rub you behind the ears

I hope you’re making friends, you know sniffing rears

But while you’re frolicking in fields seeing all there is to see

Please my love, don’t forget about me

Remember the frustrations in the tub

Cherish each and every belly rub

How we played with ice in sweltering heat

How I wasn’t supposed to, but snuck you many treats

I know it’s temporary but thinking of you makes me sad

But you were a treat to my life, so to have had you makes me glad

-Poetic Ice

To have known the love of a pet, and to have lost that pet is one of most painful things to go through in your life. But that furry friend of yours knows that you will smile again, and that’s exactly what they want. Remember Pets were put on this earth to teach you how to love, once their job is done they are called home. Never forget that love, and smile…

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like volume 17

A time comes in a techs life when they honestly lose their sanity and contemplate a few things:

1. Mischief 

2. Blackout rage

3. Rage filled rant

So the public is lucky we choose number three more often than not. Let’s get into it again!


Flea Infestation 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They make my soul itch! I repeat the over abundance of this parasitic pest on a pet/me MAKES MY SOUL ITCH!!!! Oh my god this is straight out of a horror movie. You part fur and a sea of jumping demons flee the pet and invade your clinic and YOUR body! It’s inevitable, when you start to eradicate the demons they flee to you, in your clothes, in your hair, in your facial hair, in your shoes, IN. YOUR. SOUL! Think about that …. Fleas all over you, jumping and biting…. You’re welcome for that dark image.

This is How You Do Your Job

I think I’ve covered this but I had a situation recently that opened this wound up. A client wields this power in their minds that tell them they can walk into your establishment and change your entire protocol and policies. This includes pricing, and what staff will be present for their services. So as a vet tech we wield this actual power called Reality. Once we use it on said delusional infidel they lose their minds and become demons that rain down their dragon breath of “I’m not paying this, or you’ll give this medication without a diagnostic test or an exam because I said so!” Oh and my personal favorite “With all the money I spent in this place…”

That last phrase is a kicker for me. You may be a “good” client but your contribution doesn’t pay the clinics bills in its entirety. Stop acting like you are buying stock in the clinic with every visit. Don’t come into a vet clinic and tell people how to do their jobs and for what price they are going to do it it’s rude, infuriating, and it’s not going to help you situation in the long run.

Tears

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge our loved ones that we have lost over the years. Let’s send love to the love ones we have sent over the rainbow bridge. Let’s shed the tears for the furry sons, daughters, brothers, and sisters that we have lost. Tears. They will fall profusely like a broken faucet with the water pressure turned up. But I hate them so, lord knows I do, but we techs and veterinarians cry the hardest when we lose family. Each tear is a memory of love, learning, happiness, and even rage we’ve had with the family we lost. The tears water log our hearts and try to drown us in sorrow, but we have a duty to our loved ones. It’s now more than ever they want us to smile and remember the love they chose to share with us. They are wagging their tails/nubs or purring away at the thought of the love they left you with. If you are reading this then I know your pain and I’m here for you. We Hate tears!!! But the sorrow is temporary. The love is eternal.

Be strong and the smile will return, I promise

-Poetic Ice

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 16

Rise up and rage against your pet peeves fellow vet techs and populace alike!!! It’s me again your friendly neighborhood Spiderman Vet Tech here with some things that just get on my nerves.


Cage and Kennel Aggression

Let’s start simple this time around. I know I’ve written about this before. But as with many things in this field it comes up often. So, as the title says it’s about a form of aggression that is brought about by simply placing an animal in a cage or kennel. You may not see the rage when you put them in the cage/kennel, but when you go to get them out for any reason that’s when you meet the personification of a rage-filled Shit storm! Nothing is worse and more of a betrayal than a dog that you were just loving on twenty minutes ago now is trying to maul your leg off because you are trying to get them out of a kennel. Usually the door is slammed shut instantaneously as a self-preservation technique then the animal is more angered that you hindered its escape, and now you’re enraged by the new threat you didn’t perceive a moment before. Adrenaline now coursing through both combatants as you now go to your education and experience to use one of your many techniques to get Fido out of the kennel.

The worse situation is a cornered diabetic (doesn’t have to be) cat that woke up that morning wanting to take a life with its bare claws. Not only do they swat your advances with the precision of a shaolin monk fused with a world class boxer, but they have the rage of a wolverine in the small space and the need to lunge at you. For you it’s your job, for them it’s Death before Dishonor!!! I love my Job.

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Invincible Hair

*Taps mic*

Is this thing on? Oh it is? Good.

*clears throat*

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !*!&#*@*&&!**#*$*(%(%($(*****

Excuse me, I just had to get that out. I know I speak for every person on the planet who has been in the present of an animal with hair for more than a few minutes. I know I’m speaking especially to veterinary professionals. I CAN’T STAND INVINCIBLE HAIRS. I say invincible as in nothing that you can do in this reality will free you from it. Let me explain. As a Vet Tech one of our many jobs is to prep a wound/surgical site for the doctor to get in there and do what’s necessary to send the pet home happy. So we have to clip and clean the area. Now we use clippers to shave up all the hair and we take special precautions to not get that hair into the surgical site/wound. Yet, no matter how much care we take there is a stray bastard hair in your field. No amount of flushing or scrubbing frees it. You end up tweezing it or rage quitting. Whichever comes first will do.

Let’s not forget the result of restraining a hairy cat or dog and leaving with a new fur coat that you didn’t ask for. So the powers that be gifted us with the Lint Roller. It will always, and I mean always remove 97.4 percent of the hair from your scrubs. The other 2.6 percent will nonchalantly hang out on your scrub top until you want your lunch or something to drink. Then it will kamikaze dive into your food or beverage and find the spot in the back of your throat or just hang on the corner of your lip. Not only is this disgusting and horrifying you instantly remember every medical problem this pet has ever had. The flashes of the hotspots you’ve cleaned, the demodex mites you’ve seen, oh dear lord the smeared anal glands in dogs fur that you’ve cleaned. All of it is now in your mouth and on your chest. I hate invincible hair.

Hypochondriacs

Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form don’t like or am against people who suffer from the mental illness/condition of Hypochondriasis. This condition is where a person worries about having a serious illness. This is a debilitating condition where a person has a skewed perception about their condition of their body or mind, but in actuality they don’t have any illnesses.

The problem that vet techs have are with the hypochondriacs that put the illnesses on their pets. Now if you see symptoms and that causes worry, that’s understandable. But when you come in and yell at us because your dog scratched itself for 2.5 seconds it now has Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and a zombie parasite from a post-apocalyptic future, we get understandably pissed. We hate that you try to force your beliefs upon us. We try our hardest to convince you that your dog isn’t going to melt or be consumed by flesh eating microscopic monster, but it’s an uphill battle. Seriously, if you suffer from hypochondriasis then seek help from professionals.

For more information about Hypochondriasis you can go to the Mayo Clinic’s website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/illness-anxiety-disorder/basics/definition/con-20124064

 

This is my two cents about things that drive us nuts. Please feed your vet techs before midnight, and don’t get them wet.

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t like volume 15


Welcome friends, family, and newcomers to my Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series. There are drinks and snacked in the corner as well as individually wrapped to go boxes of “What The F**k” ready to go home with you! Enjoy!

Can I Ask About My Other Pet? (Audience Submission)

This question is the bane of veterinary technicians and veterinarians alike. It’s not uncommon for a client to own multiple pets. It’s not uncommon to have the client bring them in for various things at separate times. It makes sense, honestly how often has everyone in your home gotten sick at the same time? Sickness happening one after the other is far more common. But, these clients who have multiple pets with multiple issues always have a lot of questions to ask. That’s all fine and dandy when you have that pet with you and the doctor can thoroughly examine them and answer the questions. It’s the select few who take it upon themselves to leave the other pet at home, but not the questions.

“Thanks for looking at Rex, but can I ask you about my other dog Nexus?” They’ll usually start off, and before the doctor or tech can respond they’ll continue,

“You know how Rex had that small little laceration? Well Nexus has something completely unrelated. He’s been having intense diarrhea, and vomiting sometimes. Some days he keeps water down, others he’s a regurgitation cannon! Some days he has solid stool, and other’s he’s a chocolate milk fountain…” And the insane story will usually continue in that fashion. Now the tech and or doctor are roped in to the situation and have to help this client as best they can. The angering part is that this is usually all the info they can muster. So, now the professionals have to explain the importance of brining in the other pets because that’s the only way to get a clear diagnosis, but they are doubling the time the doctor is in the room, and taking away from the other clients who actually brought their pet that has an appointment. For doctor’s and techs who have an extremely busy day scheduled this one appointment is enough to severely back them up. This now starts a trend of aggravated clients who are forced to wait in the lobby or in their exam rooms. This gives rise to an aggravated doctor who is stressing about getting the rest of the day done in a timely fashion. This births technicians who are pissed off because they take the assault from both ends all because this one client decided to ask about pets that aren’t present. Sounds like a bad day to me…

 

Euthanasia Etiquette

Euthanasia is a service we offer in this business when it is time to end the suffering of a pet in need. That is a part every technician has to learn how to handle and work through. It’s the “Etiquette” of it that is the troublesome thing. Remember, Veterinary medicine is a business so there will be a payment taken for this service. When we take the payment we’ve been groomed by the present day economy and good up bringing to say things like “Have a good day” , “See you soon”, “Thank you for your business”, “Come again soon”, and one of the worse phrases “Now have a good day”. I personally hate if I get caught in a trend of checking people out all day/night and then there is a euthanasia to check out. It’s awkward enough when you have a saddened often times crying client in front of you. It’s made worse when you tell the client to have a nice day. I just want to scream when I slip up and do this. I feel like a friggin fool for it. Most times clients understand your role and just move on with the process. But sometimes you get those extremely sensitive and grief stricken clients that look at you like you’re a sadistic fool. Heck after I make this kind of mistake I feel like they have the right to.

On the flip side of this I’ve had to put down two pets over the last seven months and both times I don’t know what to say to my coworkers when they try to console me or show their support. I just don’t have the proper wording and feel like an idiot when they speak to me. My coworkers will say “sorry for your loss” and I draw a blank, only replaying my last moments with my pet and can barely manage a thank you, or it’s not your fault. I just hate speaking in these moments I guess.

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(Evil!!!) Blocked Cats!

Feline kind had a meeting during the rise of the Egyptian empires of old in North Western Africa and came up with two philosophies,

  1. All of humanity is a sub species created by the almighty lord Bastet to serve all of feline kind in all aspects of life.
  2. As a feline it is your right, nay, your sworn duty to go DEFCON 1 Ape Shit Crazy ONLY when a Vet Tech/Veterinarian is attempting to place and IV/Urinary catheter in you when your urinary tract is blocked.

Since ancient times these were the philosophies that all cats large and small live by each day. So, every vet tech in modern age pretty much wants to strangle the soul out of these cats when they come into the clinic with a urinary blockage. Let me just say not all cats that have a urinary blockage are evil, and some that start off evil once they are unblocked become the nicest kitties in the world. It’s just those unapologetic unforgiving assholes of cat kind that really ruin your entire shift.

Now not only are most of your interactions you going through a Rocky Balboa fused with Wolverine style slap box match, but you’re also playing the keep the cone on the vicious faux rabid cat game. Thank god for IV medications, but my God do we curse under our breath when we have to give an oral or Sub Q injection. “What do you mean I have to touch Satan’s little helper? Person with the DVM please tell me why you hate me?” I swear something so cute and cuddly as a cat can honestly make you want to square up and brawl when they come in with this condition

But that’s just my two cents on the matter. As always there is more to come, tell me just what gets on your nerves too Comment here or hit me up on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi


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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 14

There are a myriad of things in this world that just tick off vet techs. SOOO many rage inducing situations where we simply have to smile and move on to our jobs before we catch a law suit against us. Why do we do it? Because we knew going into this job we love animals and want to help them. So if you see a vet tech taking a minute to breath and calm down, let them. Know that they will still do their best for your pet, but yeah, you did piss them off.

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I’m a (Insert medical profession here) so do your job this way

Okay, I know this has been sort of mentioned before. I know my vet tech readers are familiar with this and reading the title instantly recalled a time where this has happened to them personally. For all you civilians let me break it down for you. We just love when someone comes into our clinic seeking help for their pet, but feel the need to tell us how to do our job. Some of the worst encounters we have is with medical doctors who attempt to tell you what test to run and what medications to dose out. A lot of them tend to look down upon us in the field as we aren’t doing human medicine so we aren’t really working. We’re just playing with their animals. The blatant arrogance and disrespect have definitely made me want to punch them in the face and help them eat a stethoscope or two. If you come to the office then let us do what we do, we don’t go to the hospital and tell you what you should be doing.

 

You probably CAN’T answer this question, but…

This phrase before a question will set my fuse off instantly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t claim to know everything in the world. I’m not that arrogant. But I do take my job seriously and have the education to back it that makes me able to either answer or find an answer for a client. Hearing a client say “you probably can’t answer this question, but” before asking something that is usually a fairy easy question to answer. This phrase is heard every once and a while, and that is to be expected. The truly irritating thing is when one client will use it multiple times in one visit. Like for every single question they have to ask you when the doctor isn’t around. Just because technicians aren’t doctors doesn’t mean they are idiots meant to fill space in the clinic. Give us some freaking credit.

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Adherence to policy means you don’t care about animals

Veterinary hospitals go through spells where it seems like every third client will be one in a horrible predicament; their pet will be in dire immediate need of our various services and they will be lacking in the funds necessary to pay for the treatment. I know I’ve brought this up before, but it’s a repetitive thing in my business. It’s also been happening a lot lately for me personally. I bring it up not because of that, but because of the argument that comes after it as of late.

“So, because I don’t have all the money right now you’re just going to let my dog die?”

“You don’t have a payment plan? You don’t care about animals, it’s all about the money for you!”

“I don’t have that kind of money, I’ll just use a bullet instead!”

“This whole business is just a rip off. Nothing you do for an animal should cost that much.”

“You are the devil! You’re supposed to help out of the kindness of your heart, but that’s just a lie isn’t it?”

 

I could go on, but you get the point. Vet techs hate this aspect of the job, but after a while you become so desensitized that it barely fazes you anymore. You know you have to do what you can with what you have to help the animal that’s in need. If you don’t have the funds then you can’t do the test and/or administer medications or surgery. We know that in these times of dire need emotions are running high and tempers flare easily, so we try to keep the situation calm and get the client either out of the door or into a room so we can get to work on the patient. But just know we are pissed off beyond belief because we get truly tired, exhausted from hearing just how evil we are for working at a business. Take a look at the word business there. Do you know what’s required to keep the lights on at a business, to buy the supplies/tools necessary to do the business, employ the staff to work the front and back of said business, to advertise it, to manage it, and last but not least pay the doctors to treat your pets at the business? Money. Money is the requirement, just like at any other business. So why the F**K is that so hard to believe in veterinary medicine? Only the Lord will ever know…….

 

*Takes deep breath* rant over…. This is just my 2 cents on the matter. See you soon!

Poetic Ice

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 12

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It’s me Poetic Ice again, and this volume isn’t like the others. It’s more serious. Every technician has probably been through this and understands what this post is about. With that said, let’s get into it.

Loss of a loved one

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The cute little five year old rug rat pictured above is my own Dachshund named Diva. The queen of cuddles, the craver of chicken, and the  bane of bath time! My dachshund was never a dog, she didn’t get the memo. She was a person who had an enormous amount of hair.

I got her from my sister after my then fiancee begged, pleaded, and finally convinced me to get her. She was the first serious mutual commitment we had together. She meant the world to us. She also came at a time when I was taking vet assistant classes so she was my study buddy/test dummy. I learned a lot with this pup at my side.  After getting into the Veterinary profession and learning a lot about our long friend I took every possible measure to prevent her from having any kind of back issue. I gave her plenty of controlled (safe) exercise, gave her a good diet to prevent excessive weight gain, and TRIED to prevent her from jumping on everything possible. For five years I had this battle won. She was the healthiest little runt around.

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But a couple weeks ago my word changed, as my efforts proved all for naught. I to this day don’t know how my puppy was hurt, but she must have had an accident outside playing because she started showing signs of Intervertebral Disc Disease. Her back was hunched and she couldn’t lift her head up. I took her to my job to get her examined and the diagnosis was made. The normal treatment track was taken then. Muscle relaxers, steroids, and pain medications. Strict cage rest and leash walks only. For the next three weeks we played the awful game of wait and see. Every day she would either scream in pain all day, or seem like she’s getting better. All the while no matter how much pain she was in she would wag her tail and be happy to see my wife and I. No matter how my pup felt she was trying to he happy for us. This made it all the more worse being a Vet Tech. I knew nothing short of a surgery I couldn’t afford would help her, but I’ve seen pets take this route and improve. That just wasn’t the case this time.

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Her condition kept worsening so my wife and I made the hardest decision we’ve ever had to. We brought her to my job to be relieved of her suffering. Thanks to my amazing coworkers this was easier, but it was still hard. It was hard as hell to do. I’ve done this process from the other side for years, and have probably become somewhat desensitized. That scar tissue of desensitization was ripped off and I was a fresh open wound of emotion again. My wife and I are still reeling from the event. I’ve even been affected at work. I witnessed an emergency humane euthanasia, and felt like I was going through it all over again. Whatever edge I had over the years is gone currently. The pit of my stomach held a feeling I couldn’t understand until writing this. It was a feeling of despair from not being able to save my own pet, yet I clock in everyday to do just that for others. But that isn’t it, it’s the despair fighting against my passion for this job, and the love I had for my own lovable Diva.  It’s a moment of intense sadness that’s combating against years of joyful memories and experiences. sadness and despair that will turn to lessons in life, and won’t leave me defeated for too long. My Diva wouldn’t want that, if she found me like this she be busy shoving her wet nose in my face and licking me non-stop.

But it still hurts… and It’s one major thing Vet Techs Don’t Like.

-Poetic Ice

-If you have experienced a loss of a loved one, my heart goes out to you. I pray you get through your dark times, I hope we get through them together.

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like: Volume 11

Welcome back, yet again It’s time for Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!

It’s been a long long while since I’ve wrote one of these, I apologize for that. As you may or may not know I’m an author and poet and have been focused on other projects, but things still irk me

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Vet Wrap
Now vet wrap is an amazing invention created for the sack of mandating wounds. I just have a few minor annoyances.
1. When you open up a new roll and find it was smoothed over by Loki the trickster God and you can’t find the starting point. Pure rage pours out of me when this happens especially when I have to wrap up a bad dog my teammates are holding that’s growing more satanic by the moment.

2. The no chew aspect of it. Apparently they are coated with a chemical with a foul taste to discourage animals from ripping it off. The lab tech’s who invented this have never met a neurotic dog with anxiety issues. Nothing short of a cone/muzzle/chemical restraint is going to stop them. It’s like an advertised lie lol.

3. When you learn what the no chew chemical taste like. I had a run in with an untrained dog that decided to rip some flesh off my arm, so I had to bandage myself up. I work the emergency shift which is code for skeletal crew so I bandaged my arm on my own initially. I chlorhexed my arm, applied son SSD cream a telfa pad then started to wrap with vet wrap. I then ripped it with my teeth without thinking…..

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My face upon tasting


I tasted this horrid chemical for the next four days. FOUR DAYS!!! No amount of scrubbing short of stripping my lips of skin could save me.

Doctors
As a proud veterinary medicine professional I can proudly say we don’t like going to the doctor. We hate having a reason to go to the doctor, but sometimes things happen I.e.

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Tiny little scrap


Now that scrap was nothing, but did burn like a mother. But if it was a bit deeper it could have been serious. Being hurt impairs us from doing our jobs. If we have to go to the doctor We listen to their game plans and come up with our own treatment alternatives. And Lord forbid we have to be hospitalized because after a full career of putting in catheters and restraining pets you feel like it’s cosmic karma mocking you when you have to get one placed.

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Defeat
This is a serious one here. The despicable low feeling of complete and utter defeat. One that can only be achieved when you invest your heart and soul in a case and you lose the pet on the operating table. In those quick dire moments what you run for the epinephrine and the rebreather but nothing works. When you grow tired from chest compressions when doing CPR, and you feel it in your gut that this fuzzy family member’s soul just left its body. Its moments like this that make you want to fall out and give up, but you don’t. You pick yourself up and dry your eyes and you carry the memory of this pet as you move on to save another. Yes you grow stronger, but you don’t forget, and that feeling will always be a bitch, but a bitch you learn to live with.

Well that’s it foe volume 11, more to come in the future.

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 10

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The clenched fist says it all right. It’s a sign of pure rage in this case. This job is going to forever make me say “Why do we allow humans to procreate?”

Well since we can’t stop that I can still rant right? You all won’t hold that against me? Don’t think you will so here goes for the tenth time in a row, Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!!!!!

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1. MAGGOTS!!!!!!

You see that picture above… It’s a fly. A creepy, disgusting, and annoying little housefly. It lives it’s life in relatively short stages. They start as disgusting little eggs that hatch into a larval stage known commonly as Maggots. Now being a veterinary technician you see all sorts of gross things. soy one becomes conditioned, hardened if you will. But very few vet techs clock in and are ready to see maggots spewing from an abnormal orifice on someone’s pet. Seriously WHAT THE F**K?….. okay got that out. Now let me clarify my rage. if it’s a stray animal that was wounded and then maggots set up shop and some good Samaritan brings it in to have it treated or put to sleep then fine we’ll deal with the grossness with nose plugs and gloves. But the flip side to that is that select group of people who bring in their pet who have maggots falling out of them stating “this just happened today” . If you are a pet owner who cares for their pet then why the hell didn’t you notice a wound on your pet that now is festering and has tons of maggots burrowing through it and eating your pet alive? Not only is this disgusting it’s so rag inducing that it makes me tremble with anger….

Disclaimer: I know that sometimes some pets get out, or run away and accidents happen, and one may not find their pet before something like this happens. This is not a rant towards those who have gone through those unfortunate mishaps.

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2. Inventory 

inventory: Noun, a complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building as defined by the dictionary.

Inventory: Verb: An act that veterinary technicians perform to self induce madness by taking count of every possible product in the building.

Inventory: Adjective, Word to describe pure and unadulterated hate and rage in a nice way. a synonymous term for trying to find shit that doesn’t exist within the clinic that should.

Nuff’ said.

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3. LIQUOR

In this job, especially the emergency portion of it we seem to encounter our fair share of liquor. Now don’t get me wrong plenty of vet techs can agree that a nice cold one after a long day’s work is a great thing, but while you’re clocked in you don’t want to smell or see liquor or it’s remnants. If you come into the clinic somewhat buzzed or full on plastered it’s not a good thing. History gets skewed, and facts will be disoriented, and you’re overly emotional in a time when you need to be calm. Sometimes its down right embarrassing to see an adult acting like an idiot in public or doing idiotic things.  The other side of the liquor spectrum is if you bring in a pet that is suffering from alcohol poisoning I personally think of you as the scum of the Earth. Not only is it asinine, it’s animal abuse which is punishable by law lest we forget. So if you are coming into my clinic giggling about your dog being drunk while this poor animal, a member of your family, is now suffering and may die, don’t expect me to be all bright and cheery with you in the exam room. Quite frankly, to Hell with your feelings, your animal suffering is all i’m concerned about, and if we can prevent any major or long lasting issues then I hope the law is called and you are punished for it…. Jerk-off

Well… there you have it folks that’s volume 10 of Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. That’s my 2 cents on this madness called Veterinary Medicine. Pass it along.

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