Tag Archives: Animal Care

Things Vet Techs volume 13

I’ve reached lucky number 13 of the Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series!!! Thanks for sticking around thus far. You guys/gals are the real MVPs.

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The first point I’d like to make is comical. It’s funny That this even happened in real life, but let’s get to it.

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1. The Preganancy Test Came Back Negative.
Pregnancy is a thing that can be detected easily and early in humans thanks to pregancy tests. They can be bought at almost all convenience stores and even the Dollar Tree. They relay results in a matter of seconds, to and for humans. They can be of aid in life planning, to humans. Sadly, they don’t work on canines and felines… no, nope, sorry, no can do…
W. T. F.
When a client comes in due to their pet having pregancy complications the staff gets into a rush to save the life of your pet and its offspring. We gather a history and go over the price of radiography and possible surgery if it comes to that. All standard procedure, but we get understandably thrown off by you telling us that your home pregancy test came up negative for your pet so you didn’t think this was a possibility. I think I cried laughing when I heard about this. I can’t even with sentient humanity sometimes..

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2. In dog years?
Okay I’d like to think normal sane people with common sense read my blog. Well as sane as us veterinary professionals get anyway. With that said I’m going to ask you a question that I want you to answer without hesitation.

How old is your dog?
See, not complicated right. You answered it mentally without a second thought right. You, like most of the world said “blank” years old. Well we as vet tech’s don’t like when clients come in and retort to the question with, “In dog years?”. (Insert angry face here, preferably one with fangs and fire)
We didn’t ask for that, nor would we ever. It only gets worse when someone gets mentally constipated and can’t calculate it so they get anxious as if now they have signed their dogs death certificate. “I don’t know, I’ve never done The math… wait, hold on I’ll tell you… it’s…. I don’t know” Is what happens next. Its okay that You don’t know, we don’t need it, but don’t bog us down with that As we gather info on your pet. “In dog years” depends on a dog’s breed/size and living situation anyway. Its age determines the protocols we use on it, The actual approximation/conversion isn’t necessary, but it is fun to know.

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3. Self Entitled Pricks
The title says it all, and any vet tech, office manager, and veterinarian can understand it without elaboration. But since I have “civilians” that read this I’ll go into it. Veterinary professionals work in this business knowing that the will encounter a person/family/organization that thinks the work you do should be free or discounted. While you are at it throw in some free prescriptions and a bag of food as well.
I don’t know what it is that compels people into thinking that veterinary medicine is free volunteer work instead of a fully functioning business.

Its a group of professionals providing a service, and that service does come with a fee. The fee is due at the time the services are rendered. Its comparable to taking your care to a mechanic. They expect payment after the labor. They love what they do, just like we do. The difference is they don’t have to take a bullet financially when entitled prices come in. We often have to eat costs, and or give away services for free because of people thinking they deserve it, or worse when they are stolen. I say stolen as in a surgery being done, and a person refusing to pay even though they agreed to, even signed an estimate stating they would. We can’t legally hold your pet until you pay, so that means we have to eat that cost. Its irritating, hell it’s maddening to go through. Enough of that and a owner/office manager has to let staff go. Of it continues a business has to shut down. No one wants that, veterinary professionals need jobs too.

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4. Abandoned Pets
The quickest way to earn the rage and wrath of a vet tech is to abandon your pet. Just the mere mention of such an act earns you their contempt and they never forget it. The fact that you don’t even have the decency to re-home them or take them to a shelter or rescue group is sickening. What if you were left out in the street forced to fend for yourself in a world you don’t understand? No that’s not good enough, let me put it in perspective for you. You abandoning your pet in the streets is like you being ripped from you home and dropped into another country that doesn’t speak your native language with no map, GPS, currency, and supplies to live. Where you will either be killed or just await hour painful death of starvation and parasites. That is basically what one does when they are abandoning a pet. So to hell with you if you do it. The two pups pictured above were abandoned where I work on a freezing winter morning. At least that human chose to leave them at a veterinary clinic, but still what the hell? They were barely off their mothers milk, and honestly probably had another week to go. They are two loving dogs that crave attention and love and fear being alone. Probably because they were ripped from their mom too early… anyway the hospital took them in, gave them someplace warm to live and food. As you all who read my blog know I lost my little Diva recently and my wife and I were looking for another dog. So, these two are my new dogs. We love them to death, and I get enraged every time I think of them being thrown out onto the streets….

That’s volume 13 for ya, hope you like it and can identify. Share it with your friends and family. Hope you have a happy holiday! Now here’s a funny pic just cause.

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-Poetic Ice

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like: Volume 11

Welcome back, yet again It’s time for Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!

It’s been a long long while since I’ve wrote one of these, I apologize for that. As you may or may not know I’m an author and poet and have been focused on other projects, but things still irk me

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Vet Wrap
Now vet wrap is an amazing invention created for the sack of mandating wounds. I just have a few minor annoyances.
1. When you open up a new roll and find it was smoothed over by Loki the trickster God and you can’t find the starting point. Pure rage pours out of me when this happens especially when I have to wrap up a bad dog my teammates are holding that’s growing more satanic by the moment.

2. The no chew aspect of it. Apparently they are coated with a chemical with a foul taste to discourage animals from ripping it off. The lab tech’s who invented this have never met a neurotic dog with anxiety issues. Nothing short of a cone/muzzle/chemical restraint is going to stop them. It’s like an advertised lie lol.

3. When you learn what the no chew chemical taste like. I had a run in with an untrained dog that decided to rip some flesh off my arm, so I had to bandage myself up. I work the emergency shift which is code for skeletal crew so I bandaged my arm on my own initially. I chlorhexed my arm, applied son SSD cream a telfa pad then started to wrap with vet wrap. I then ripped it with my teeth without thinking…..

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My face upon tasting

I tasted this horrid chemical for the next four days. FOUR DAYS!!! No amount of scrubbing short of stripping my lips of skin could save me.

Doctors
As a proud veterinary medicine professional I can proudly say we don’t like going to the doctor. We hate having a reason to go to the doctor, but sometimes things happen I.e.

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Tiny little scrap

Now that scrap was nothing, but did burn like a mother. But if it was a bit deeper it could have been serious. Being hurt impairs us from doing our jobs. If we have to go to the doctor We listen to their game plans and come up with our own treatment alternatives. And Lord forbid we have to be hospitalized because after a full career of putting in catheters and restraining pets you feel like it’s cosmic karma mocking you when you have to get one placed.

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Defeat
This is a serious one here. The despicable low feeling of complete and utter defeat. One that can only be achieved when you invest your heart and soul in a case and you lose the pet on the operating table. In those quick dire moments what you run for the epinephrine and the rebreather but nothing works. When you grow tired from chest compressions when doing CPR, and you feel it in your gut that this fuzzy family member’s soul just left its body. Its moments like this that make you want to fall out and give up, but you don’t. You pick yourself up and dry your eyes and you carry the memory of this pet as you move on to save another. Yes you grow stronger, but you don’t forget, and that feeling will always be a bitch, but a bitch you learn to live with.

Well that’s it foe volume 11, more to come in the future.

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 10

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The clenched fist says it all right. It’s a sign of pure rage in this case. This job is going to forever make me say “Why do we allow humans to procreate?”

Well since we can’t stop that I can still rant right? You all won’t hold that against me? Don’t think you will so here goes for the tenth time in a row, Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!!!!!

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1. MAGGOTS!!!!!!

You see that picture above… It’s a fly. A creepy, disgusting, and annoying little housefly. It lives it’s life in relatively short stages. They start as disgusting little eggs that hatch into a larval stage known commonly as Maggots. Now being a veterinary technician you see all sorts of gross things. soy one becomes conditioned, hardened if you will. But very few vet techs clock in and are ready to see maggots spewing from an abnormal orifice on someone’s pet. Seriously WHAT THE F**K?….. okay got that out. Now let me clarify my rage. if it’s a stray animal that was wounded and then maggots set up shop and some good Samaritan brings it in to have it treated or put to sleep then fine we’ll deal with the grossness with nose plugs and gloves. But the flip side to that is that select group of people who bring in their pet who have maggots falling out of them stating “this just happened today” . If you are a pet owner who cares for their pet then why the hell didn’t you notice a wound on your pet that now is festering and has tons of maggots burrowing through it and eating your pet alive? Not only is this disgusting it’s so rag inducing that it makes me tremble with anger….

Disclaimer: I know that sometimes some pets get out, or run away and accidents happen, and one may not find their pet before something like this happens. This is not a rant towards those who have gone through those unfortunate mishaps.

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2. Inventory 

inventory: Noun, a complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building as defined by the dictionary.

Inventory: Verb: An act that veterinary technicians perform to self induce madness by taking count of every possible product in the building.

Inventory: Adjective, Word to describe pure and unadulterated hate and rage in a nice way. a synonymous term for trying to find shit that doesn’t exist within the clinic that should.

Nuff’ said.

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3. LIQUOR

In this job, especially the emergency portion of it we seem to encounter our fair share of liquor. Now don’t get me wrong plenty of vet techs can agree that a nice cold one after a long day’s work is a great thing, but while you’re clocked in you don’t want to smell or see liquor or it’s remnants. If you come into the clinic somewhat buzzed or full on plastered it’s not a good thing. History gets skewed, and facts will be disoriented, and you’re overly emotional in a time when you need to be calm. Sometimes its down right embarrassing to see an adult acting like an idiot in public or doing idiotic things.  The other side of the liquor spectrum is if you bring in a pet that is suffering from alcohol poisoning I personally think of you as the scum of the Earth. Not only is it asinine, it’s animal abuse which is punishable by law lest we forget. So if you are coming into my clinic giggling about your dog being drunk while this poor animal, a member of your family, is now suffering and may die, don’t expect me to be all bright and cheery with you in the exam room. Quite frankly, to Hell with your feelings, your animal suffering is all i’m concerned about, and if we can prevent any major or long lasting issues then I hope the law is called and you are punished for it…. Jerk-off

Well… there you have it folks that’s volume 10 of Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. That’s my 2 cents on this madness called Veterinary Medicine. Pass it along.