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world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like: Volume 18

Wow, volume 18 huh? we’ve come a long way from a bored Technician ranting two years ago haven’t we? Maybe I should stop, I have matured a lot and grown into a stronger, more patient man and I’m sure you’ve all grown with me…. Grown to the point of confusion and rage at times by the things we encounter… Yeah, no change on that front so the volumes must continue! Let’s get into it shall we, I welcome you to The Boarding Edition

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The Barker

Okay so let’s begin this journey with the most common boarder you will ever encounter in this field. The Barker. This is the dog that is in the kennel whom is a master of sheer destruction via sound waves. Once they enter your facility this beast will never stop barking. Whether it’s high pitched yips or low baritone Woofs, this dog will bark for the duration of its stay at your kennel. This poor beast doesn’t even stop barking to sleep. So since this beast won’t sleep you assume it will stop barking to eat. You are wrong, you naïve fool, so wrong! No meal or treat will stop this dog from singing you the song of its people. After about 8 hours of this The Barker goes through a transformation that takes their bark to the next level. It now barks with enough passion, power, and volume to summon Christ himself. Bless your eardrums.

The Fearful One

This poor unfortunate soul has the title The Fearful One. Nothing makes your job in veterinary medicine more aggravating and dangerous than a fearful. A fearful pet is more likely to get extremely desperate and attack to garner its freedom from you. In the case of boarding, fearful dogs and cats cower into the corners of their cages. I’m talking about an impossibly small ball in the impossibly cramped corner of the cage. All in hopes that it was an accident that you opened their kennel. Once the realization sets in that you meant to do this they activate their next line of defense, excrement. Submissive urination, defecation and emesis from being overly worked up is all a possibility with an extremely fearful dog. Once you breach their second line of defense and clean up the mess their third and final option becomes clear in their mind. It’s a two-parter as well. First these dogs have mastered fear biting and will use it at will if provoked enough, second once they have bit or snapped at you they will escape by any means necessary. Remember this dog isn’t biting you to kill you, it’s doing so to make an opening for escape. These pets aren’t truly aggressive just terrified of you.

The Junkie

This class of boarder is known as The Junkie, or at least by the time you are done with your shift you feel that way about them. This pet is usually at or over geriatric age and has been given a diagnosis that will result in death were it not for the miracle of modern medicine. When you work for a facility that offers medical boarding you are a godsend to those owners who don’t trust a pet sitter to give medications, so take pride in what you do. But, that doesn’t mean we aren’t aggravated by the fact that your P has 7-8 different medications all given at varying dosing times, which are staggered throughout the day and not given together in any way shape or form! My god why can’t they all be given together (If possible lol)? Now every thirty minutes we’re medicating your dog. We don’t mind, but if your pet doesn’t want the pill, we have to use a pill pocket. If they don’t want that we try to hide it in wet dog food. If that fails we enter into a UFC brawl with the pet, putting them in some form of headlock that allows us to pry open their overly powerful jaws to shove a pill down their throat. This method results in one of two options: The dog bites you either by accident or on purpose because we are essentially gagging them for a moment. The second option is that pet NO LONGER trusts us and feels betrayed by our actions making each dosing after that harder. That look of disappointment and disdain afterwards just makes you feel sooo bad, but you remember that he has 72 more pills to take and you don’t feel so bad anymore.

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The Apex Predator

Okay in the mind of an overly creative imaginative vet tech such as myself this is the scenario that plays in my head when it comes to The Apex Predator: The owner of this dog stops at the door and kneels down to whisper into their ear and casts a spell of true malice and malevolence while “Eye of The Tiger” plays softly in the background. As the spell is casts the ancient spirits of prehistoric wolves, velociraptors, and your elementary school bully now possess this dog making him the most demonic thing you will ever encounter in your working life. The Apex Predator enters your facility in pure rebellion of your kennel. It matters not who they see, they will bite/claw/maim all that are unfortunate enough to pass them. They exhibit multiple forms of aggression. Cage aggression, kennel aggression, dog aggression, male aggression, there was a breeze aggression, I hear a voice aggression, you have a mother and father aggression, all of them. It’s safe to say that this pet was a T-rex in its past life. When the owner comes to pick up the spell is broken and they become extremely cuddly towards you and everyone around you. This cast the illusion that he was like this for his entire stay. This then prompts the owner to schedule another visit with your facility, YAY!!! But, they only try to do it when you work, NOOOOOOO!!!!

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The Cat

This is plain and simple. The Cat isn’t a complicated boarder, but it can be the most exhausting of the lot. Cats are either sweet cuddly balls of fur that you love to rub on and give attention while they stay with you. Or they are dark malicious phantasms born of fire, brimstone, hate and dragon’s piss! Sent fourth from the bowels of hell to render your mind, body, and soul null and void as it reigns down its unholy terror upon you. All just to feast on what remains of your dried up husk of a vet tech simply because it was mad at the fact that it was brought to your kennel. Yup, simple indeed. A purr angel, or Lucifer’s left nut, that’s what you get with cats.

But that’s just my two cent on the matter. Remember these are just the over simplifications and exaggerations of what we do at the job for satirical purposes. Not a direct reflection of any facility. Except the cat part… that’s just life.

-Poetic Ice

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t like volume 15


Welcome friends, family, and newcomers to my Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series. There are drinks and snacked in the corner as well as individually wrapped to go boxes of “What The F**k” ready to go home with you! Enjoy!

Can I Ask About My Other Pet? (Audience Submission)

This question is the bane of veterinary technicians and veterinarians alike. It’s not uncommon for a client to own multiple pets. It’s not uncommon to have the client bring them in for various things at separate times. It makes sense, honestly how often has everyone in your home gotten sick at the same time? Sickness happening one after the other is far more common. But, these clients who have multiple pets with multiple issues always have a lot of questions to ask. That’s all fine and dandy when you have that pet with you and the doctor can thoroughly examine them and answer the questions. It’s the select few who take it upon themselves to leave the other pet at home, but not the questions.

“Thanks for looking at Rex, but can I ask you about my other dog Nexus?” They’ll usually start off, and before the doctor or tech can respond they’ll continue,

“You know how Rex had that small little laceration? Well Nexus has something completely unrelated. He’s been having intense diarrhea, and vomiting sometimes. Some days he keeps water down, others he’s a regurgitation cannon! Some days he has solid stool, and other’s he’s a chocolate milk fountain…” And the insane story will usually continue in that fashion. Now the tech and or doctor are roped in to the situation and have to help this client as best they can. The angering part is that this is usually all the info they can muster. So, now the professionals have to explain the importance of brining in the other pets because that’s the only way to get a clear diagnosis, but they are doubling the time the doctor is in the room, and taking away from the other clients who actually brought their pet that has an appointment. For doctor’s and techs who have an extremely busy day scheduled this one appointment is enough to severely back them up. This now starts a trend of aggravated clients who are forced to wait in the lobby or in their exam rooms. This gives rise to an aggravated doctor who is stressing about getting the rest of the day done in a timely fashion. This births technicians who are pissed off because they take the assault from both ends all because this one client decided to ask about pets that aren’t present. Sounds like a bad day to me…

 

Euthanasia Etiquette

Euthanasia is a service we offer in this business when it is time to end the suffering of a pet in need. That is a part every technician has to learn how to handle and work through. It’s the “Etiquette” of it that is the troublesome thing. Remember, Veterinary medicine is a business so there will be a payment taken for this service. When we take the payment we’ve been groomed by the present day economy and good up bringing to say things like “Have a good day” , “See you soon”, “Thank you for your business”, “Come again soon”, and one of the worse phrases “Now have a good day”. I personally hate if I get caught in a trend of checking people out all day/night and then there is a euthanasia to check out. It’s awkward enough when you have a saddened often times crying client in front of you. It’s made worse when you tell the client to have a nice day. I just want to scream when I slip up and do this. I feel like a friggin fool for it. Most times clients understand your role and just move on with the process. But sometimes you get those extremely sensitive and grief stricken clients that look at you like you’re a sadistic fool. Heck after I make this kind of mistake I feel like they have the right to.

On the flip side of this I’ve had to put down two pets over the last seven months and both times I don’t know what to say to my coworkers when they try to console me or show their support. I just don’t have the proper wording and feel like an idiot when they speak to me. My coworkers will say “sorry for your loss” and I draw a blank, only replaying my last moments with my pet and can barely manage a thank you, or it’s not your fault. I just hate speaking in these moments I guess.

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(Evil!!!) Blocked Cats!

Feline kind had a meeting during the rise of the Egyptian empires of old in North Western Africa and came up with two philosophies,

  1. All of humanity is a sub species created by the almighty lord Bastet to serve all of feline kind in all aspects of life.
  2. As a feline it is your right, nay, your sworn duty to go DEFCON 1 Ape Shit Crazy ONLY when a Vet Tech/Veterinarian is attempting to place and IV/Urinary catheter in you when your urinary tract is blocked.

Since ancient times these were the philosophies that all cats large and small live by each day. So, every vet tech in modern age pretty much wants to strangle the soul out of these cats when they come into the clinic with a urinary blockage. Let me just say not all cats that have a urinary blockage are evil, and some that start off evil once they are unblocked become the nicest kitties in the world. It’s just those unapologetic unforgiving assholes of cat kind that really ruin your entire shift.

Now not only are most of your interactions you going through a Rocky Balboa fused with Wolverine style slap box match, but you’re also playing the keep the cone on the vicious faux rabid cat game. Thank god for IV medications, but my God do we curse under our breath when we have to give an oral or Sub Q injection. “What do you mean I have to touch Satan’s little helper? Person with the DVM please tell me why you hate me?” I swear something so cute and cuddly as a cat can honestly make you want to square up and brawl when they come in with this condition

But that’s just my two cents on the matter. As always there is more to come, tell me just what gets on your nerves too Comment here or hit me up on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi


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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 14

There are a myriad of things in this world that just tick off vet techs. SOOO many rage inducing situations where we simply have to smile and move on to our jobs before we catch a law suit against us. Why do we do it? Because we knew going into this job we love animals and want to help them. So if you see a vet tech taking a minute to breath and calm down, let them. Know that they will still do their best for your pet, but yeah, you did piss them off.

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I’m a (Insert medical profession here) so do your job this way

Okay, I know this has been sort of mentioned before. I know my vet tech readers are familiar with this and reading the title instantly recalled a time where this has happened to them personally. For all you civilians let me break it down for you. We just love when someone comes into our clinic seeking help for their pet, but feel the need to tell us how to do our job. Some of the worst encounters we have is with medical doctors who attempt to tell you what test to run and what medications to dose out. A lot of them tend to look down upon us in the field as we aren’t doing human medicine so we aren’t really working. We’re just playing with their animals. The blatant arrogance and disrespect have definitely made me want to punch them in the face and help them eat a stethoscope or two. If you come to the office then let us do what we do, we don’t go to the hospital and tell you what you should be doing.

 

You probably CAN’T answer this question, but…

This phrase before a question will set my fuse off instantly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t claim to know everything in the world. I’m not that arrogant. But I do take my job seriously and have the education to back it that makes me able to either answer or find an answer for a client. Hearing a client say “you probably can’t answer this question, but” before asking something that is usually a fairy easy question to answer. This phrase is heard every once and a while, and that is to be expected. The truly irritating thing is when one client will use it multiple times in one visit. Like for every single question they have to ask you when the doctor isn’t around. Just because technicians aren’t doctors doesn’t mean they are idiots meant to fill space in the clinic. Give us some freaking credit.

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Adherence to policy means you don’t care about animals

Veterinary hospitals go through spells where it seems like every third client will be one in a horrible predicament; their pet will be in dire immediate need of our various services and they will be lacking in the funds necessary to pay for the treatment. I know I’ve brought this up before, but it’s a repetitive thing in my business. It’s also been happening a lot lately for me personally. I bring it up not because of that, but because of the argument that comes after it as of late.

“So, because I don’t have all the money right now you’re just going to let my dog die?”

“You don’t have a payment plan? You don’t care about animals, it’s all about the money for you!”

“I don’t have that kind of money, I’ll just use a bullet instead!”

“This whole business is just a rip off. Nothing you do for an animal should cost that much.”

“You are the devil! You’re supposed to help out of the kindness of your heart, but that’s just a lie isn’t it?”

 

I could go on, but you get the point. Vet techs hate this aspect of the job, but after a while you become so desensitized that it barely fazes you anymore. You know you have to do what you can with what you have to help the animal that’s in need. If you don’t have the funds then you can’t do the test and/or administer medications or surgery. We know that in these times of dire need emotions are running high and tempers flare easily, so we try to keep the situation calm and get the client either out of the door or into a room so we can get to work on the patient. But just know we are pissed off beyond belief because we get truly tired, exhausted from hearing just how evil we are for working at a business. Take a look at the word business there. Do you know what’s required to keep the lights on at a business, to buy the supplies/tools necessary to do the business, employ the staff to work the front and back of said business, to advertise it, to manage it, and last but not least pay the doctors to treat your pets at the business? Money. Money is the requirement, just like at any other business. So why the F**K is that so hard to believe in veterinary medicine? Only the Lord will ever know…….

 

*Takes deep breath* rant over…. This is just my 2 cents on the matter. See you soon!

Poetic Ice

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Volume 12

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It’s me Poetic Ice again, and this volume isn’t like the others. It’s more serious. Every technician has probably been through this and understands what this post is about. With that said, let’s get into it.

Loss of a loved one

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The cute little five year old rug rat pictured above is my own Dachshund named Diva. The queen of cuddles, the craver of chicken, and the  bane of bath time! My dachshund was never a dog, she didn’t get the memo. She was a person who had an enormous amount of hair.

I got her from my sister after my then fiancee begged, pleaded, and finally convinced me to get her. She was the first serious mutual commitment we had together. She meant the world to us. She also came at a time when I was taking vet assistant classes so she was my study buddy/test dummy. I learned a lot with this pup at my side.  After getting into the Veterinary profession and learning a lot about our long friend I took every possible measure to prevent her from having any kind of back issue. I gave her plenty of controlled (safe) exercise, gave her a good diet to prevent excessive weight gain, and TRIED to prevent her from jumping on everything possible. For five years I had this battle won. She was the healthiest little runt around.

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But a couple weeks ago my word changed, as my efforts proved all for naught. I to this day don’t know how my puppy was hurt, but she must have had an accident outside playing because she started showing signs of Intervertebral Disc Disease. Her back was hunched and she couldn’t lift her head up. I took her to my job to get her examined and the diagnosis was made. The normal treatment track was taken then. Muscle relaxers, steroids, and pain medications. Strict cage rest and leash walks only. For the next three weeks we played the awful game of wait and see. Every day she would either scream in pain all day, or seem like she’s getting better. All the while no matter how much pain she was in she would wag her tail and be happy to see my wife and I. No matter how my pup felt she was trying to he happy for us. This made it all the more worse being a Vet Tech. I knew nothing short of a surgery I couldn’t afford would help her, but I’ve seen pets take this route and improve. That just wasn’t the case this time.

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Her condition kept worsening so my wife and I made the hardest decision we’ve ever had to. We brought her to my job to be relieved of her suffering. Thanks to my amazing coworkers this was easier, but it was still hard. It was hard as hell to do. I’ve done this process from the other side for years, and have probably become somewhat desensitized. That scar tissue of desensitization was ripped off and I was a fresh open wound of emotion again. My wife and I are still reeling from the event. I’ve even been affected at work. I witnessed an emergency humane euthanasia, and felt like I was going through it all over again. Whatever edge I had over the years is gone currently. The pit of my stomach held a feeling I couldn’t understand until writing this. It was a feeling of despair from not being able to save my own pet, yet I clock in everyday to do just that for others. But that isn’t it, it’s the despair fighting against my passion for this job, and the love I had for my own lovable Diva.  It’s a moment of intense sadness that’s combating against years of joyful memories and experiences. sadness and despair that will turn to lessons in life, and won’t leave me defeated for too long. My Diva wouldn’t want that, if she found me like this she be busy shoving her wet nose in my face and licking me non-stop.

But it still hurts… and It’s one major thing Vet Techs Don’t Like.

-Poetic Ice

-If you have experienced a loss of a loved one, my heart goes out to you. I pray you get through your dark times, I hope we get through them together.

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 10

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The clenched fist says it all right. It’s a sign of pure rage in this case. This job is going to forever make me say “Why do we allow humans to procreate?”

Well since we can’t stop that I can still rant right? You all won’t hold that against me? Don’t think you will so here goes for the tenth time in a row, Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!!!!!

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1. MAGGOTS!!!!!!

You see that picture above… It’s a fly. A creepy, disgusting, and annoying little housefly. It lives it’s life in relatively short stages. They start as disgusting little eggs that hatch into a larval stage known commonly as Maggots. Now being a veterinary technician you see all sorts of gross things. soy one becomes conditioned, hardened if you will. But very few vet techs clock in and are ready to see maggots spewing from an abnormal orifice on someone’s pet. Seriously WHAT THE F**K?….. okay got that out. Now let me clarify my rage. if it’s a stray animal that was wounded and then maggots set up shop and some good Samaritan brings it in to have it treated or put to sleep then fine we’ll deal with the grossness with nose plugs and gloves. But the flip side to that is that select group of people who bring in their pet who have maggots falling out of them stating “this just happened today” . If you are a pet owner who cares for their pet then why the hell didn’t you notice a wound on your pet that now is festering and has tons of maggots burrowing through it and eating your pet alive? Not only is this disgusting it’s so rag inducing that it makes me tremble with anger….

Disclaimer: I know that sometimes some pets get out, or run away and accidents happen, and one may not find their pet before something like this happens. This is not a rant towards those who have gone through those unfortunate mishaps.

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2. Inventory 

inventory: Noun, a complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building as defined by the dictionary.

Inventory: Verb: An act that veterinary technicians perform to self induce madness by taking count of every possible product in the building.

Inventory: Adjective, Word to describe pure and unadulterated hate and rage in a nice way. a synonymous term for trying to find shit that doesn’t exist within the clinic that should.

Nuff’ said.

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3. LIQUOR

In this job, especially the emergency portion of it we seem to encounter our fair share of liquor. Now don’t get me wrong plenty of vet techs can agree that a nice cold one after a long day’s work is a great thing, but while you’re clocked in you don’t want to smell or see liquor or it’s remnants. If you come into the clinic somewhat buzzed or full on plastered it’s not a good thing. History gets skewed, and facts will be disoriented, and you’re overly emotional in a time when you need to be calm. Sometimes its down right embarrassing to see an adult acting like an idiot in public or doing idiotic things.  The other side of the liquor spectrum is if you bring in a pet that is suffering from alcohol poisoning I personally think of you as the scum of the Earth. Not only is it asinine, it’s animal abuse which is punishable by law lest we forget. So if you are coming into my clinic giggling about your dog being drunk while this poor animal, a member of your family, is now suffering and may die, don’t expect me to be all bright and cheery with you in the exam room. Quite frankly, to Hell with your feelings, your animal suffering is all i’m concerned about, and if we can prevent any major or long lasting issues then I hope the law is called and you are punished for it…. Jerk-off

Well… there you have it folks that’s volume 10 of Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. That’s my 2 cents on this madness called Veterinary Medicine. Pass it along.

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 9

Just like the evil cat in your clinic who’s chronically constipated TVTDL is back again for the 9th time! It seems like this list will be infinite.

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I Need an Annual Done, at 10:30pm

When working in a veterinary clinic you expect impromptu visits from clients to have their pets vaccinated at any given time during the work day. BUT when you’re working the emergency shift you don’t expect for a client to come rushing in on two wheels saying  “I need my annual vaccines done right now! I know It’s 10:30pm, but I need it now!” Okay it’s not my place to say you do or don’t need your vaccines. If you ask me I will always tell you that you need to update your vaccines yearly. BUT WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH IS IT IMPORTANT TO DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!????  If you’re fortunate enough to have a 24 hour facility near you and you want your vaccines done at night go do it if they allow it, but seriously, schedule an appointment during regular hours if you go in and see multiple patients rushed in that got hit by cars or in dog fights or poisoned. You are kind of a non-factor for a moment while they are tended to.

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANIMALS!!!

This has been blogged about before, but it’s always worth mentioning again. Every Veterinary professional in existence has heard this phrase at least once or twice (A week) in their career. “You don’t care about animals, you only care about money!” it’s with a heavy sigh that I again state, Veterinary medicine is a business. Yes we care about animals, but there are still bills to pay. Certain expenses need to be covered to treat your animals. Just like with human medicine there will be expenses involved with receiving care, and more often than not those expenses are higher for emergency care, just like with humans. I promise we’re not money grubbing people. If you seen our checks you would understand that most of the money that you see going into a clinic does just that, it goes towards keeping a clinic running. If only you knew how much money flies out of the door from little minor things such as free nail trims and such that some doctors like to give to their patients as a kindness. Those little things add up over the course of a year to thousands of dollars that the doctor could have made, but didn’t because they chose to give it away. Think about that the next time you stand high and mighty on your soap box and rant that we don’t care about animals.

Insulting The Staff

Okay, I don’t know about other jobs, but in this field we aren’t employees working for a boss. We’re a family that view each other as brothers and sisters, some older, some younger, but you get the picture. We’re a blended family that doesn’t take kindly to you snickering to your friends or boldly insulting us because you don’t like our appearance or something about our hospital. We didn’t come to you and beg for you to enter our building. You came to us. The least you could do is show some respect to the people who are helping to treat your pet. Your personal opinions about the employees of the hospital you are at are not warranted. You don’t know what that particular person is going through at any given time, and that could be the the thing to set them off in an explosive way that could end badly for everyone around. Respect, I repeat, RESPECT those around you. Don’t insult my family, because I’m not insulting yours. Besides you should have some decency as a human being, it’s not like your a cat walking into the clinic looking at your human slaves…

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That’s all I got for you right now, but you know it’s going to keep coming.  Refer your friends to the blog and check out the other entries in the series.

Check out the new facebook page as well- http://www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like 7

Ladies and gents, it’s that time again for Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. One might say we have a anger issue at this point. We might say shove it but I’ll that’s not nice, and all vet techs are great at customer service… which is why we have unrivaled rage at times lol.

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OUR PATIENTS BEING POISONED!!!!

Okay first off let me start off by saying there is no reason to knowingly go poison another person’s pet out of pure malice. If a person’s dog/cat is bothering you in some way then talk to the owner about it. If that does nothing call the authorities. DO NOT FUCKING POISON SOMEONE ELSES FAMILY MEMBER!!! To a vet tech that’s like you poisoning someone’s kid. We view it the same. what the fuck are you thinking? You’re thinking I’ll show that bastard and his dog! Yeah here’s some rat poison!!! But what you think is a quick painless death and a solution to your problem, is actually not. It’s a long painful agonizing process that with the proper tests and medication can be fixed. Also if there is any indication of poisoning there is a chance your sorry ass is going to jail. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!????? Go ahead I’m waiting tell me… why? Hmmm? Oh Fido wouldn’t stop barking at your princess fluffy paws. The same Fluffy paws who usually barks first or is just playing with Fido, but you think because Fido is a mastiff it want’s to kill your poodle. News flash my idiotic human friend, Dogs Bark to communicate! There is no need to poison them for it.

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The Play now Pay Later Mentality

I don’t know about what happens at your local vet office, Your mechanic, your doctor’s office, or any other business you seek services from, but in my experience when you have a service rendered to you it is to be paid for right then and there. If said business has a payment plan system set up, or lines of credit that’s different, but I’m not discussing those. I’m talking at the clinic I’m used to, Payment is due at time of service. This simple concept is some how, some way being forgotten or is just tooooooooo mysterious to be comprehended by some. “I’ll just have my (insert random person here) come by and pay for it later. I’m going to be taking my medications now though.” NO, NO YOU ARE NOT TAKING YOUR MEDICATIONS, and you’re either paying for this now or having a conversation in your near future with local law enforcement. You do understand leaving an establishment after service has been rendered without paying is theft right? You stole the staff’s time, and opportunity to help someone else and make money. Yes it is a veterinary clinic, but it is still a business that makes it’s money through the helping of others. SERVICE IS OUR PRODUCT, AND YOU’RE TRYING TO STEAL IT!!! We don’t want your IOU’s, we want you to conduct yourself like a normal damn adult and pay for what you want done at the time that you have it done. Mommy’s not supposed to run and clean up your messes all the time. (Always ask what a service cost before you have it done. It’s not a shameful thing to gather information people).

I know this one was kind of short, but the list is ever growing. What pisses you off? Let me know and I’ll blog it! In the mean time check out the other entries in this series.

Volume 1: https://poeticice.com/2014/09/17/things-vet-techs-dont-like/

Volume 2: https://poeticice.com/2014/09/23/things-vet-techs-dont-like-round-2/

Volume 3: https://poeticice.com/2014/11/08/things-vet-techs-dont-like-vol-3/

Volume 4: https://poeticice.com/2014/11/10/things-vet-techs-dont-like-4/

Volume 5: https://poeticice.com/2014/11/28/things-vet-techs-dont-like-vol-5/

Volume 6: https://poeticice.com/2014/12/24/things-vet-techs-dont-like-vol-6/

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 6

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It’s the Christmas season guys and gals, so happy holidays first and foremost. Now that the holiday cheer is out of the way, let’s address the apparent month long psychosis that has affected the people in our current society. No I’m not about to go on a political/cultural/racial rant. I’ll stay grounded in the Veterinary world. A world full of mixed nuts.

1.  THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE MUZZLING MY DOG, AND CHOKING HIM TO DEATH!!!!

Okay, do you guys see the picture above. Take a long look at it. Have that image internalized yet? That is what a vet tech sees when there is an extremely aggressive dog in the examination room that doesn’t want to be there.  I call it the death lunge, either you move out of the way or it’s game over. As veterinary professionals we understand the aggressive pet. It’s probably fear aggression. That’s fine. we can take things slow and if necessary a muzzle will need to be used. In extreme cases chemical restraint becomes an option. It’s for the protection of everyone in the room so we can all go home happy and in one piece. When we pull out muzzles because Jack the Ripper has decided to rend our flesh from bone, don’t go ape shit crazy on us because of your dog’s behavior. Either your dog is untrained or has fear issues. either way it wants to kill and we want to live. Yelling at us saying that we are choking or suffocating your dog is just fucking stupid. I’m sorry but you took me there. It’s fucking dumb. Proper restraint does not choke your dog, and a muzzle doesn’t suffocate. DOGS BREATH THROUGH THEIR NOSES LIKE WE DO!!!!! Get the heck outta here with that foolishness! This one notion alone drives Techs insane!

pills

2. Hey Doc, I Need A Refill, I Know I Said I Didn’t Yesterday, But I Do Today. Right Now Actually. No I’m out completely…. for real…..

So, I know I went to public school. It may not have been ivy league status, but my preschool teacher taught me this magical thing called counting. It was a skill that I have used EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Apparently this skill is a lost art for many of the clients of veterinary clinics. When your pet is on chronic medication you are in the vet office often for monitoring and or refills. Well if you come for a routine monitoring visit and the Vet Tech and DOCTOR ask you do you need a refill of said medication, we are honestly asking you this. This is no trick or game we are trying to play. We figure you know the inventory of medications in your home and know when you need more. I guess we are wrong to think this. If you say that “I have plenty of medication, I don’t need anymore right now doctor” we believe this fact. We’re not the ones medicating your pet you are. Why should we not believe you. So when you call us less than 24 hours later and say you need a refill of said medication and you need it ASAP because if Fluffy doesn’t get it they break out in hives and become a lycanthrope by midnight, we become confused and pissed off. YOU KNEW YOU NEEDED MEDICATION YESTERDAY!!! If you’re in the building we can fill the script, if you call it in most likely there is a policy in place such as give the doctor 24 hours to fill it because the doctor has actual work to do such as see patients, save lives, run a damn hospital, etc. Now you’re irate on the phone and complaining about service when we tried to service your ass yesterday! Well you wait on your damn medication that we will fill, and pray your werewolf doesn’t take too many lives in the process.

(Lycanthrope=Werewolf for people who don’t want to use Google lol)

top-secret

3. Secret Keepers

These are the clients who act like they have something to hide when they make there appointment. They schedule Red for vaccines and get off the phone with a maniacal laugh to themselves. They start rubbing their hands together and in a deep menacing voice proclaim, “I’ll also bring fluffy and Sam along for annuals, and anal glands muahahahahahahahaha!” Or At least that’s what I imagine. All we as veterinary professionals ask is that when you make an appointment, make it for all that you require. It doesn’t hurt our feelings to work. It pisses us off when you add multiple things at the last friggin minute. If you show up for a dental cleaning, don’t add a billion mini mass removals that you are only getting for aesthetic purposes! You know not the wrath of a vet professional scorned, but that is the quickest way to earn it.

Now that’s all, enjoy your holiday, go have fun, and for the love of all that is only keep your pets out of the emergency clinic!

Happy holidays

Poetic ice

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world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 5

 

This is your local vet tech after a day fool of WTF

This is your local vet tech after a day full of WTF

You see this wolf above… yeah that’s what your vet tech feels like on the inside after some of the foolish things we encounter daily.

1. Could you groom my pet please? Don’t pay the vomiting, diarrhea, random bleeding etc, any mind.

This by far really makes me blood thirsty. When a client is concerned about a few mats on the fur, or nails being too long when their pet is in dire unrelated stress. If your pet is examined and you are told about various masses felt, wounds, and/or their dehydration we aren’t going to be concerned with fluffy’s aesthetics. A nail trim and bath aren’t going to fix said pets tumor growing on their side!

The clock says it all

The clock says it all

2. I’m late for my appointment, but I damn well better be next in line to see the doctor!

Okay first of all… just who the hell do you think you are to show up late and demand immediate service? If you show up late for your pets appointment you need to realize that other appointments were scheduled and since they were here on time they will be seen ahead of you. Just because you have a card saying your appointment was for 9:30am doesn’t mean you get seen first. That becomes null and void once you show up at 10:15am. Please believe being rude about the fact that YOU were late and haven’t been seen doesn’t help you much either. To top it all off when the pet is a straight up hell beast it just makes a vet tech pretty much say fuck it…….

 

EVIL Incarnate

EVIL Incarnate

3. CUTTING PILLS!!!!!!!!

This is in no way shape or form the clients fault. This isn’t the techs fault, and this isn’t the doctors fault. It is just a way of life. A way that everyone in this business hates. WE ALL HATE CUTTING PILLS INTO 1/2 AND GOD FORBID 1/4ths for a patient. If the pills are scored then great. If they aren’t and they are coated it is a little harder. If they are already infinitesimal then you have to cut them they will 9 times out of 10 decided to shatter into oblivion so you now have to adjust your inventory to reflect loss of said pill. Pill dust every where!!!!! Oh and if you have extremely large hands, (or just hands bigger than a toddlers!) you will have a time just positioning the little bugger on a pill cutter in the first place. Now instead of a half a few pills are 2/3 of the dosage…. I hate pill cutters. I hate cutting pills…. I blame chemist and pharmacist for this. (Even though it’s not their fault either I guess.)

Hey fellow members of the veterinary community, what bugs you? comment below.

If you missed my other TVTDL post then check them out please!

Volume 1

https://poeticice.com/2014/09/17/things-vet-techs-dont-like/

volume 2

https://poeticice.com/2014/09/23/things-vet-techs-dont-like-round-2/

volume 3

https://poeticice.com/2014/11/08/things-vet-techs-dont-like-vol-3/

Volume 4

https://poeticice.com/2014/11/10/things-vet-techs-dont-like-4/

 

 

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Things Vet Techs Don’t Like 4

So by now you aren’t surprised that I have more to say. What can I say? The world keeps spinning, and flinging new kinds of WTF moments at Vet Techs daily.

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My Dog Doesn’t Bite, She May Scratch You With Her Teeth Though
This is a great source of WTF for me. The hell do you mean he doesn’t bite, but he will scratch you with her teeth? If it’s able to scratch me with said teeth it must be an attempt to bite that was narrowly dodged. If your pet is quarantined for biting by DHEC and you are in the clinic for your mandatory rabies shot then YES we are muzzling Baron Von Cujo no matter how much You say your growing mass of furry fury isn’t going to bite.

Oh I forgot To Mention 2 Days Ago My Dog Ate (Insert Foreign Object Here)
This one hurts as well as angers. As a tech it’s your job to be the Watson to your doctor’s Sherlock. You gather evidence to solve the crime or in this case save the pet. If your suspect omits a crucial piece of information you can’t do your job effectively or quick enough and may lose said pet. It hurts so bad when you know a pet could be saved from the agony of a perforated bowel and/or Death if you would have just told us every little detail during the investigation/exam. Even if you think its trivial it could save your pet’s life. Don’t lose them if you don’t have too. Common sense and speaking up goes a long way in veterinary medicine.

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Breeders, enough said
I could just say Breeders and every vet tech in existence would have a million stories of why they don’t like them. First off they see their pets as income tools and not the family members they are. Second when you do come into the clinic with your ELEVEN lab puppies all of them seem to be walking fuzzy galleries of intestinal parasites and/or Parvo candidates. You are overpopulating an overpopulated world with pets when you should encourage adoption. You buy feed store vaccines and claim your pets a vaccinated, but your clients have NO way if really knowing if they are or not. And last but not least you volunteer medical info, whether it be right or wrong in such a way that the client will take your word as the word of God over ours as if we’re the serpent in the Garden. You make work twice as hard for us.

… No. No witty comment. That’s my two cents and i’m done.

poetic ice

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