For those of you who followed the first book of The Chamberlyn Chronicles and loved it, I’ll let you in on a little secret….. You don’t spend a good part of your undergraduate years working at The Candy Shop and not develop a Sweet Tooth…..
If you’re wondering, yes it’s intentionally greyscaled and blurred lol.
New stories coming soon.
-Poetic Ice
Rise up and rage against your pet peeves fellow vet techs and populace alike!!! It’s me again your friendly neighborhood Spiderman Vet Tech here with some things that just get on my nerves.
Cage and Kennel Aggression
Let’s start simple this time around. I know I’ve written about this before. But as with many things in this field it comes up often. So, as the title says it’s about a form of aggression that is brought about by simply placing an animal in a cage or kennel. You may not see the rage when you put them in the cage/kennel, but when you go to get them out for any reason that’s when you meet the personification of a rage-filled Shit storm! Nothing is worse and more of a betrayal than a dog that you were just loving on twenty minutes ago now is trying to maul your leg off because you are trying to get them out of a kennel. Usually the door is slammed shut instantaneously as a self-preservation technique then the animal is more angered that you hindered its escape, and now you’re enraged by the new threat you didn’t perceive a moment before. Adrenaline now coursing through both combatants as you now go to your education and experience to use one of your many techniques to get Fido out of the kennel.
The worse situation is a cornered diabetic (doesn’t have to be) cat that woke up that morning wanting to take a life with its bare claws. Not only do they swat your advances with the precision of a shaolin monk fused with a world class boxer, but they have the rage of a wolverine in the small space and the need to lunge at you. For you it’s your job, for them it’s Death before Dishonor!!! I love my Job.
Invincible Hair
*Taps mic*
Is this thing on? Oh it is? Good.
*clears throat*
AAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAAaaaaaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !*!&#*@*&&!**#*$*(%(%($(*****
Excuse me, I just had to get that out. I know I speak for every person on the planet who has been in the present of an animal with hair for more than a few minutes. I know I’m speaking especially to veterinary professionals. I CAN’T STAND INVINCIBLE HAIRS. I say invincible as in nothing that you can do in this reality will free you from it. Let me explain. As a Vet Tech one of our many jobs is to prep a wound/surgical site for the doctor to get in there and do what’s necessary to send the pet home happy. So we have to clip and clean the area. Now we use clippers to shave up all the hair and we take special precautions to not get that hair into the surgical site/wound. Yet, no matter how much care we take there is a stray bastard hair in your field. No amount of flushing or scrubbing frees it. You end up tweezing it or rage quitting. Whichever comes first will do.
Let’s not forget the result of restraining a hairy cat or dog and leaving with a new fur coat that you didn’t ask for. So the powers that be gifted us with the Lint Roller. It will always, and I mean always remove 97.4 percent of the hair from your scrubs. The other 2.6 percent will nonchalantly hang out on your scrub top until you want your lunch or something to drink. Then it will kamikaze dive into your food or beverage and find the spot in the back of your throat or just hang on the corner of your lip. Not only is this disgusting and horrifying you instantly remember every medical problem this pet has ever had. The flashes of the hotspots you’ve cleaned, the demodex mites you’ve seen, oh dear lord the smeared anal glands in dogs fur that you’ve cleaned. All of it is now in your mouth and on your chest. I hate invincible hair.
Hypochondriacs
Disclaimer: I in no way shape or form don’t like or am against people who suffer from the mental illness/condition of Hypochondriasis. This condition is where a person worries about having a serious illness. This is a debilitating condition where a person has a skewed perception about their condition of their body or mind, but in actuality they don’t have any illnesses.
The problem that vet techs have are with the hypochondriacs that put the illnesses on their pets. Now if you see symptoms and that causes worry, that’s understandable. But when you come in and yell at us because your dog scratched itself for 2.5 seconds it now has Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) and a zombie parasite from a post-apocalyptic future, we get understandably pissed. We hate that you try to force your beliefs upon us. We try our hardest to convince you that your dog isn’t going to melt or be consumed by flesh eating microscopic monster, but it’s an uphill battle. Seriously, if you suffer from hypochondriasis then seek help from professionals.
For more information about Hypochondriasis you can go to the Mayo Clinic’s website: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/illness-anxiety-disorder/basics/definition/con-20124064
This is my two cents about things that drive us nuts. Please feed your vet techs before midnight, and don’t get them wet.
Welcome friends, family, and newcomers to my Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series. There are drinks and snacked in the corner as well as individually wrapped to go boxes of “What The F**k” ready to go home with you! Enjoy!
Can I Ask About My Other Pet? (Audience Submission)
This question is the bane of veterinary technicians and veterinarians alike. It’s not uncommon for a client to own multiple pets. It’s not uncommon to have the client bring them in for various things at separate times. It makes sense, honestly how often has everyone in your home gotten sick at the same time? Sickness happening one after the other is far more common. But, these clients who have multiple pets with multiple issues always have a lot of questions to ask. That’s all fine and dandy when you have that pet with you and the doctor can thoroughly examine them and answer the questions. It’s the select few who take it upon themselves to leave the other pet at home, but not the questions.
“Thanks for looking at Rex, but can I ask you about my other dog Nexus?” They’ll usually start off, and before the doctor or tech can respond they’ll continue,
“You know how Rex had that small little laceration? Well Nexus has something completely unrelated. He’s been having intense diarrhea, and vomiting sometimes. Some days he keeps water down, others he’s a regurgitation cannon! Some days he has solid stool, and other’s he’s a chocolate milk fountain…” And the insane story will usually continue in that fashion. Now the tech and or doctor are roped in to the situation and have to help this client as best they can. The angering part is that this is usually all the info they can muster. So, now the professionals have to explain the importance of brining in the other pets because that’s the only way to get a clear diagnosis, but they are doubling the time the doctor is in the room, and taking away from the other clients who actually brought their pet that has an appointment. For doctor’s and techs who have an extremely busy day scheduled this one appointment is enough to severely back them up. This now starts a trend of aggravated clients who are forced to wait in the lobby or in their exam rooms. This gives rise to an aggravated doctor who is stressing about getting the rest of the day done in a timely fashion. This births technicians who are pissed off because they take the assault from both ends all because this one client decided to ask about pets that aren’t present. Sounds like a bad day to me…
Euthanasia Etiquette
Euthanasia is a service we offer in this business when it is time to end the suffering of a pet in need. That is a part every technician has to learn how to handle and work through. It’s the “Etiquette” of it that is the troublesome thing. Remember, Veterinary medicine is a business so there will be a payment taken for this service. When we take the payment we’ve been groomed by the present day economy and good up bringing to say things like “Have a good day” , “See you soon”, “Thank you for your business”, “Come again soon”, and one of the worse phrases “Now have a good day”. I personally hate if I get caught in a trend of checking people out all day/night and then there is a euthanasia to check out. It’s awkward enough when you have a saddened often times crying client in front of you. It’s made worse when you tell the client to have a nice day. I just want to scream when I slip up and do this. I feel like a friggin fool for it. Most times clients understand your role and just move on with the process. But sometimes you get those extremely sensitive and grief stricken clients that look at you like you’re a sadistic fool. Heck after I make this kind of mistake I feel like they have the right to.
On the flip side of this I’ve had to put down two pets over the last seven months and both times I don’t know what to say to my coworkers when they try to console me or show their support. I just don’t have the proper wording and feel like an idiot when they speak to me. My coworkers will say “sorry for your loss” and I draw a blank, only replaying my last moments with my pet and can barely manage a thank you, or it’s not your fault. I just hate speaking in these moments I guess.
(Evil!!!) Blocked Cats!
Feline kind had a meeting during the rise of the Egyptian empires of old in North Western Africa and came up with two philosophies,
Since ancient times these were the philosophies that all cats large and small live by each day. So, every vet tech in modern age pretty much wants to strangle the soul out of these cats when they come into the clinic with a urinary blockage. Let me just say not all cats that have a urinary blockage are evil, and some that start off evil once they are unblocked become the nicest kitties in the world. It’s just those unapologetic unforgiving assholes of cat kind that really ruin your entire shift.
Now not only are most of your interactions you going through a Rocky Balboa fused with Wolverine style slap box match, but you’re also playing the keep the cone on the vicious faux rabid cat game. Thank god for IV medications, but my God do we curse under our breath when we have to give an oral or Sub Q injection. “What do you mean I have to touch Satan’s little helper? Person with the DVM please tell me why you hate me?” I swear something so cute and cuddly as a cat can honestly make you want to square up and brawl when they come in with this condition
But that’s just my two cents on the matter. As always there is more to come, tell me just what gets on your nerves too Comment here or hit me up on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi
When the summers heat is sweet
I grow anxious over the chance to meet/
A child that I soon hope to greet/
I wish to hold your hand/
Admire you when you first stand/
Even show you the magic of Disneyland/
Eager to grapple intellectually with new life/
Teach you how to cope with strife/
And show you the elegant majesty of my wife/
It’s a thought ever so wild/
I’ve reached a point of contemplating a child/
And only afraid of your mother teaching me how your hair is styled/
The time is coming, soon it’ll be your day/
You’ll be born and here to stay/
With us guiding you, the next generation of Hemingway/
Poetic Ice
(Disclaimer: Just a creative post, not an announcement. Any notice of nativity will be amazingly creative and/or nerdy
There are a myriad of things in this world that just tick off vet techs. SOOO many rage inducing situations where we simply have to smile and move on to our jobs before we catch a law suit against us. Why do we do it? Because we knew going into this job we love animals and want to help them. So if you see a vet tech taking a minute to breath and calm down, let them. Know that they will still do their best for your pet, but yeah, you did piss them off.
I’m a (Insert medical profession here) so do your job this way
Okay, I know this has been sort of mentioned before. I know my vet tech readers are familiar with this and reading the title instantly recalled a time where this has happened to them personally. For all you civilians let me break it down for you. We just love when someone comes into our clinic seeking help for their pet, but feel the need to tell us how to do our job. Some of the worst encounters we have is with medical doctors who attempt to tell you what test to run and what medications to dose out. A lot of them tend to look down upon us in the field as we aren’t doing human medicine so we aren’t really working. We’re just playing with their animals. The blatant arrogance and disrespect have definitely made me want to punch them in the face and help them eat a stethoscope or two. If you come to the office then let us do what we do, we don’t go to the hospital and tell you what you should be doing.
You probably CAN’T answer this question, but…
This phrase before a question will set my fuse off instantly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t claim to know everything in the world. I’m not that arrogant. But I do take my job seriously and have the education to back it that makes me able to either answer or find an answer for a client. Hearing a client say “you probably can’t answer this question, but” before asking something that is usually a fairy easy question to answer. This phrase is heard every once and a while, and that is to be expected. The truly irritating thing is when one client will use it multiple times in one visit. Like for every single question they have to ask you when the doctor isn’t around. Just because technicians aren’t doctors doesn’t mean they are idiots meant to fill space in the clinic. Give us some freaking credit.
Adherence to policy means you don’t care about animals
Veterinary hospitals go through spells where it seems like every third client will be one in a horrible predicament; their pet will be in dire immediate need of our various services and they will be lacking in the funds necessary to pay for the treatment. I know I’ve brought this up before, but it’s a repetitive thing in my business. It’s also been happening a lot lately for me personally. I bring it up not because of that, but because of the argument that comes after it as of late.
“So, because I don’t have all the money right now you’re just going to let my dog die?”
“You don’t have a payment plan? You don’t care about animals, it’s all about the money for you!”
“I don’t have that kind of money, I’ll just use a bullet instead!”
“This whole business is just a rip off. Nothing you do for an animal should cost that much.”
“You are the devil! You’re supposed to help out of the kindness of your heart, but that’s just a lie isn’t it?”
I could go on, but you get the point. Vet techs hate this aspect of the job, but after a while you become so desensitized that it barely fazes you anymore. You know you have to do what you can with what you have to help the animal that’s in need. If you don’t have the funds then you can’t do the test and/or administer medications or surgery. We know that in these times of dire need emotions are running high and tempers flare easily, so we try to keep the situation calm and get the client either out of the door or into a room so we can get to work on the patient. But just know we are pissed off beyond belief because we get truly tired, exhausted from hearing just how evil we are for working at a business. Take a look at the word business there. Do you know what’s required to keep the lights on at a business, to buy the supplies/tools necessary to do the business, employ the staff to work the front and back of said business, to advertise it, to manage it, and last but not least pay the doctors to treat your pets at the business? Money. Money is the requirement, just like at any other business. So why the F**K is that so hard to believe in veterinary medicine? Only the Lord will ever know…….
*Takes deep breath* rant over…. This is just my 2 cents on the matter. See you soon!
Poetic Ice
True Love: http://youtu.be/NNUBZ6E0dPY
I was feeling creative last week so I decided to make a little tribute video to the love that I share with my wife. She is the reason I get up every morning and try to make it through this thing called life. I hope you like the video/slideshow
Poetic Ice
I have a wide variety of weapons in my arsenal
But the most deadly weapon I have can’t be traced
It can be disastrous to the mind and soul
Words
I’ve used so many rounds of these words
I could have caused genocide by now
I’ve yet to put them on safety
I know there have been habitual casualties
Words
These words seem to bounce off some of the strongest
So I put in another cartridge and give it another go
Eventually these words pierce the skin and sink to the soul
Leaving a somber echo of my malignant
Words
poetic ice
poeticice 