I’ve reached lucky number 13 of the Things Vet Techs Don’t Like series!!! Thanks for sticking around thus far. You guys/gals are the real MVPs.

The first point I’d like to make is comical. It’s funny That this even happened in real life, but let’s get to it.

1. The Preganancy Test Came Back Negative.
Pregnancy is a thing that can be detected easily and early in humans thanks to pregancy tests. They can be bought at almost all convenience stores and even the Dollar Tree. They relay results in a matter of seconds, to and for humans. They can be of aid in life planning, to humans. Sadly, they don’t work on canines and felines… no, nope, sorry, no can do…
W. T. F.
When a client comes in due to their pet having pregancy complications the staff gets into a rush to save the life of your pet and its offspring. We gather a history and go over the price of radiography and possible surgery if it comes to that. All standard procedure, but we get understandably thrown off by you telling us that your home pregancy test came up negative for your pet so you didn’t think this was a possibility. I think I cried laughing when I heard about this. I can’t even with sentient humanity sometimes..

2. In dog years?
Okay I’d like to think normal sane people with common sense read my blog. Well as sane as us veterinary professionals get anyway. With that said I’m going to ask you a question that I want you to answer without hesitation.

How old is your dog?
See, not complicated right. You answered it mentally without a second thought right. You, like most of the world said “blank” years old. Well we as vet tech’s don’t like when clients come in and retort to the question with, “In dog years?”. (Insert angry face here, preferably one with fangs and fire)
We didn’t ask for that, nor would we ever. It only gets worse when someone gets mentally constipated and can’t calculate it so they get anxious as if now they have signed their dogs death certificate. “I don’t know, I’ve never done The math… wait, hold on I’ll tell you… it’s…. I don’t know” Is what happens next. Its okay that You don’t know, we don’t need it, but don’t bog us down with that As we gather info on your pet. “In dog years” depends on a dog’s breed/size and living situation anyway. Its age determines the protocols we use on it, The actual approximation/conversion isn’t necessary, but it is fun to know.

3. Self Entitled Pricks
The title says it all, and any vet tech, office manager, and veterinarian can understand it without elaboration. But since I have “civilians” that read this I’ll go into it. Veterinary professionals work in this business knowing that the will encounter a person/family/organization that thinks the work you do should be free or discounted. While you are at it throw in some free prescriptions and a bag of food as well.
I don’t know what it is that compels people into thinking that veterinary medicine is free volunteer work instead of a fully functioning business.

Its a group of professionals providing a service, and that service does come with a fee. The fee is due at the time the services are rendered. Its comparable to taking your care to a mechanic. They expect payment after the labor. They love what they do, just like we do. The difference is they don’t have to take a bullet financially when entitled prices come in. We often have to eat costs, and or give away services for free because of people thinking they deserve it, or worse when they are stolen. I say stolen as in a surgery being done, and a person refusing to pay even though they agreed to, even signed an estimate stating they would. We can’t legally hold your pet until you pay, so that means we have to eat that cost. Its irritating, hell it’s maddening to go through. Enough of that and a owner/office manager has to let staff go. Of it continues a business has to shut down. No one wants that, veterinary professionals need jobs too.

4. Abandoned Pets
The quickest way to earn the rage and wrath of a vet tech is to abandon your pet. Just the mere mention of such an act earns you their contempt and they never forget it. The fact that you don’t even have the decency to re-home them or take them to a shelter or rescue group is sickening. What if you were left out in the street forced to fend for yourself in a world you don’t understand? No that’s not good enough, let me put it in perspective for you. You abandoning your pet in the streets is like you being ripped from you home and dropped into another country that doesn’t speak your native language with no map, GPS, currency, and supplies to live. Where you will either be killed or just await hour painful death of starvation and parasites. That is basically what one does when they are abandoning a pet. So to hell with you if you do it. The two pups pictured above were abandoned where I work on a freezing winter morning. At least that human chose to leave them at a veterinary clinic, but still what the hell? They were barely off their mothers milk, and honestly probably had another week to go. They are two loving dogs that crave attention and love and fear being alone. Probably because they were ripped from their mom too early… anyway the hospital took them in, gave them someplace warm to live and food. As you all who read my blog know I lost my little Diva recently and my wife and I were looking for another dog. So, these two are my new dogs. We love them to death, and I get enraged every time I think of them being thrown out onto the streets….

That’s volume 13 for ya, hope you like it and can identify. Share it with your friends and family. Hope you have a happy holiday! Now here’s a funny pic just cause.

-Poetic Ice