world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 10

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The clenched fist says it all right. It’s a sign of pure rage in this case. This job is going to forever make me say “Why do we allow humans to procreate?”

Well since we can’t stop that I can still rant right? You all won’t hold that against me? Don’t think you will so here goes for the tenth time in a row, Things Vet Techs Don’t Like!!!!!!

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1. MAGGOTS!!!!!!

You see that picture above… It’s a fly. A creepy, disgusting, and annoying little housefly. It lives it’s life in relatively short stages. They start as disgusting little eggs that hatch into a larval stage known commonly as Maggots. Now being a veterinary technician you see all sorts of gross things. soy one becomes conditioned, hardened if you will. But very few vet techs clock in and are ready to see maggots spewing from an abnormal orifice on someone’s pet. Seriously WHAT THE F**K?….. okay got that out. Now let me clarify my rage. if it’s a stray animal that was wounded and then maggots set up shop and some good Samaritan brings it in to have it treated or put to sleep then fine we’ll deal with the grossness with nose plugs and gloves. But the flip side to that is that select group of people who bring in their pet who have maggots falling out of them stating “this just happened today” . If you are a pet owner who cares for their pet then why the hell didn’t you notice a wound on your pet that now is festering and has tons of maggots burrowing through it and eating your pet alive? Not only is this disgusting it’s so rag inducing that it makes me tremble with anger….

Disclaimer: I know that sometimes some pets get out, or run away and accidents happen, and one may not find their pet before something like this happens. This is not a rant towards those who have gone through those unfortunate mishaps.

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2. Inventory 

inventory: Noun, a complete list of items such as property, goods in stock, or the contents of a building as defined by the dictionary.

Inventory: Verb: An act that veterinary technicians perform to self induce madness by taking count of every possible product in the building.

Inventory: Adjective, Word to describe pure and unadulterated hate and rage in a nice way. a synonymous term for trying to find shit that doesn’t exist within the clinic that should.

Nuff’ said.

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3. LIQUOR

In this job, especially the emergency portion of it we seem to encounter our fair share of liquor. Now don’t get me wrong plenty of vet techs can agree that a nice cold one after a long day’s work is a great thing, but while you’re clocked in you don’t want to smell or see liquor or it’s remnants. If you come into the clinic somewhat buzzed or full on plastered it’s not a good thing. History gets skewed, and facts will be disoriented, and you’re overly emotional in a time when you need to be calm. Sometimes its down right embarrassing to see an adult acting like an idiot in public or doing idiotic things.  The other side of the liquor spectrum is if you bring in a pet that is suffering from alcohol poisoning I personally think of you as the scum of the Earth. Not only is it asinine, it’s animal abuse which is punishable by law lest we forget. So if you are coming into my clinic giggling about your dog being drunk while this poor animal, a member of your family, is now suffering and may die, don’t expect me to be all bright and cheery with you in the exam room. Quite frankly, to Hell with your feelings, your animal suffering is all i’m concerned about, and if we can prevent any major or long lasting issues then I hope the law is called and you are punished for it…. Jerk-off

Well… there you have it folks that’s volume 10 of Things Vet Techs Don’t Like. That’s my 2 cents on this madness called Veterinary Medicine. Pass it along.

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Poetry

I need power

All my life I pray for his power

To call on I’m in need this hour
So I can fix your ignorance this hour
I live
I laugh
I love with you, lessons in every heartbeat/
Only to die from your display of cold heat/
The irony of your strong weakness/
The prognosis of my admiration is full of bleakness/
You are supposed to accept
But you’re acting inept
You give unconditional love
But lately it’s conditional  adversity in a spiked boxing glove/
All my life I pray for his power
To call on I’m in need this hour
So I can fix your ignorance this hour
You constantly beat my heart into the ground/
Until she sits on and island without a sound/
Where’s the love?
Is it above?
Yeah, on an angel’s breast
But right now
 your of a devil’s loin
Steadily flipping more than a coin
Damn she can’t feel the it
The love, passion, bonding, nope not shit/
Really?
You flip the script from the page I had it on for 23yrs?/
Really?
Now you kick off the training wheels and switch gears/
Really?
Did you ever think I’d be trying to defend you in tears?
No, but now that my heart tears, tears into pieces for you/
I love you but all I can say is
All my life I pray for his power
To call on when I’m in need this hour
So I can fix your ignorance this hour
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Poetry

Pain for Love

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Somehow you always seem to validate your visceral viciousness

Your smile is nothing more than slight of hand hiding the bared fangs

your actions are the catalyst to the chemical reaction called rage

yet you always want someone on your same page

a contradiction in itself since it’s you who is always against

to be around you is to be loved and pained

to listen to you is to feel at a loss and full of gain

Friend, foe, tyrant, or liberator, no one knows what you are

the definition of enigma, you reset the bar

you inhale my love, to exhale you malice!

then grow confused when I flee down the hole like Alice

Even the mysteries of Wonderland are more straightforward

and even still i find myself craving just one more word

through the confusion you bring I’ll rise up above,

just to have that one thing from you… your love

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world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol 9

Just like the evil cat in your clinic who’s chronically constipated TVTDL is back again for the 9th time! It seems like this list will be infinite.

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I Need an Annual Done, at 10:30pm

When working in a veterinary clinic you expect impromptu visits from clients to have their pets vaccinated at any given time during the work day. BUT when you’re working the emergency shift you don’t expect for a client to come rushing in on two wheels saying  “I need my annual vaccines done right now! I know It’s 10:30pm, but I need it now!” Okay it’s not my place to say you do or don’t need your vaccines. If you ask me I will always tell you that you need to update your vaccines yearly. BUT WHY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH IS IT IMPORTANT TO DO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!!????  If you’re fortunate enough to have a 24 hour facility near you and you want your vaccines done at night go do it if they allow it, but seriously, schedule an appointment during regular hours if you go in and see multiple patients rushed in that got hit by cars or in dog fights or poisoned. You are kind of a non-factor for a moment while they are tended to.

YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANIMALS!!!

This has been blogged about before, but it’s always worth mentioning again. Every Veterinary professional in existence has heard this phrase at least once or twice (A week) in their career. “You don’t care about animals, you only care about money!” it’s with a heavy sigh that I again state, Veterinary medicine is a business. Yes we care about animals, but there are still bills to pay. Certain expenses need to be covered to treat your animals. Just like with human medicine there will be expenses involved with receiving care, and more often than not those expenses are higher for emergency care, just like with humans. I promise we’re not money grubbing people. If you seen our checks you would understand that most of the money that you see going into a clinic does just that, it goes towards keeping a clinic running. If only you knew how much money flies out of the door from little minor things such as free nail trims and such that some doctors like to give to their patients as a kindness. Those little things add up over the course of a year to thousands of dollars that the doctor could have made, but didn’t because they chose to give it away. Think about that the next time you stand high and mighty on your soap box and rant that we don’t care about animals.

Insulting The Staff

Okay, I don’t know about other jobs, but in this field we aren’t employees working for a boss. We’re a family that view each other as brothers and sisters, some older, some younger, but you get the picture. We’re a blended family that doesn’t take kindly to you snickering to your friends or boldly insulting us because you don’t like our appearance or something about our hospital. We didn’t come to you and beg for you to enter our building. You came to us. The least you could do is show some respect to the people who are helping to treat your pet. Your personal opinions about the employees of the hospital you are at are not warranted. You don’t know what that particular person is going through at any given time, and that could be the the thing to set them off in an explosive way that could end badly for everyone around. Respect, I repeat, RESPECT those around you. Don’t insult my family, because I’m not insulting yours. Besides you should have some decency as a human being, it’s not like your a cat walking into the clinic looking at your human slaves…

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That’s all I got for you right now, but you know it’s going to keep coming.  Refer your friends to the blog and check out the other entries in the series.

Check out the new facebook page as well- http://www.facebook.com/thoughtsbypi

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world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 8

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Okay… Really? Just Really? Will this list stop? I doubt it. I thought this would be a quick venting mechanism and great practice writing. NOPE It’s my life now apparently. Let’s get the ball rolling…

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Running Around Like A Chicken With My Head Cut Off

Veterinary medicine is a fast paced occupation. More often than not you are multitasking and running from place to place to assist your coworkers or the doctor in some way, all the while you are trying to aid your clients as well. We understand that. We’re prepared for that. We LOVE THAT! or else we wouldn’t be here. BUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!! If you’re the ONE client that comes in and decides you don’t want to tell us every thing you want up front, and would rather us drag your dog back and forth a million times then refer to the picture below please,

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Don’t have an exam, go to the lobby, Then ask for a nail trim causing us to take your dog to the back and do it. Then ask for anal gland expression once that’s done, and then ask for an ear cleaning after that. You are burning bridges here quickly. Your tech on the case does in fact have MANY other things to do, and if you would have mentioned that upfront instead of hiding it like government secrets it all would have been done before your appointment ended…. Jeez.

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Invasion of Personal Space

The fact that I have to post this infuriates me. Why do you feel that it is socially acceptable to invade mine or my doctor’s personal space. This isn’t a crowded night club, or a social mixer, it’s a Veterinary clinic. So when you decide that we must feel your breath, that isn’t always fresh, on our faces we feel… inclined to be enraged. Pissed even, and grossed the hell out. The vet and the tech should leave the room feeling like they helped you, not like they were forced into a threesome with some creep. It’s simple, DON’T TOUCH ME, DON’T BREATH ON ME, DON’T ASSIST ME WITH RESTRAINT UNLESS I REQUEST IT, DON’T TOUCH MY VETERINARIAN, DON’T PAT HIM/HER, DON’T WHISPER TO US IN HUSHED TONES AND GET ODDLY CLOSE TO US, AND LASTLY, BACK THE HELL UP!!!!

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W.A.C.K.

I guess you want to know what that stands for. Well don’t worry, Mr. Poetic Ice will tell you. W.A.C.K. stands for Weird Ass Crazy Kids. Some humans are blessed with kids. Some humans are blessed to not have them, and then there are those inept jackasses that have given birth to these Weird Ass Crazy Kids that spend their young lives following Satan’s word and spreading chaos and destruction. These demons don’t know how to control their voice levels, don’t sit down, touch EVERYTHING, attempt to pet the animal during examinations and vaccinations, ask 100,675 questions, and possibly color on your chairs in the exam room all before they leave. Some would say that’s just part of being a kid, but I don’t recall worshiping the Dark Lord in my youth. We aren’t really mad at the kids, it’s the parents that act like nothing is going on. Did you not see little Michael destroy a bag of dog treats? What about Susie that keeps slapping the cat? Okay, fine, I’ll pray for you since you’re already a prisoner in your own home to little Hitler.

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LIARS

I seriously wish your pants would catch on fire, or your nose would mutate and grow into some sick mass tumor on you face. Why would you feel compelled to lie on anyone about your pet!? Whether its simple lies of omission when the tech is asking questions and you don’t mention something, but you’ll tell the doctor. Or it’s full on you lying saying we did something to harm or endanger your pet intentionally, it doesn’t matter. Why the fuck would you lie on us or to us? Our job is to help you and your pet and you would go out of your way to lie on us? Is this some sick cry for attention? A need for drama? Whatever your reasoning is, we don’t appreciate it. We hate it. If it wasn’t so ungodly we’d hate you, but we’re not like that. We’re Veterinary professionals, and we’ll use logic, and science to combat your lies. We know the truth, and we stand by it, you won’t make us falter or bend to your will.

 

Well that’s my two cents for right now, thanks for reading thus far. Do you have something that irks you in the Vet world? Let me know

Poetic Ice

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Poetry

warning

See all those people I encounter from 9-5 only know Lee

They don’t know that knowing Tavious may come with a fee

Tavious is that one guy you aren’t really ready to see

But sometimes you motherfu- won’t let me be

 Tavious wears Lee’s Halo, but flies with black wings

With a mere utterance I could cripple kings

Yet I have to put up with all that your attitude and you bitching about things?

Can you even comprehend the rage that brings?

 Lee will smile, but Tavious craves to punch you in the face

It’s just what you need to remind you that you don’t run this place

You’re nothing more than a phallic-less disgrace

You’ve rallied the monster and my sanity can’t keep pace

 Simply put, fuck you

My world would have been better without you

This will be the last time Lee will cede to you

Because next time Tavious will burn the world down around you

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You’ve been warned,

Poetic Ice

 

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world observations

Things Vet Techs Don’t Like Vol. 6

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It’s the Christmas season guys and gals, so happy holidays first and foremost. Now that the holiday cheer is out of the way, let’s address the apparent month long psychosis that has affected the people in our current society. No I’m not about to go on a political/cultural/racial rant. I’ll stay grounded in the Veterinary world. A world full of mixed nuts.

1.  THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL YOU ARE MUZZLING MY DOG, AND CHOKING HIM TO DEATH!!!!

Okay, do you guys see the picture above. Take a long look at it. Have that image internalized yet? That is what a vet tech sees when there is an extremely aggressive dog in the examination room that doesn’t want to be there.  I call it the death lunge, either you move out of the way or it’s game over. As veterinary professionals we understand the aggressive pet. It’s probably fear aggression. That’s fine. we can take things slow and if necessary a muzzle will need to be used. In extreme cases chemical restraint becomes an option. It’s for the protection of everyone in the room so we can all go home happy and in one piece. When we pull out muzzles because Jack the Ripper has decided to rend our flesh from bone, don’t go ape shit crazy on us because of your dog’s behavior. Either your dog is untrained or has fear issues. either way it wants to kill and we want to live. Yelling at us saying that we are choking or suffocating your dog is just fucking stupid. I’m sorry but you took me there. It’s fucking dumb. Proper restraint does not choke your dog, and a muzzle doesn’t suffocate. DOGS BREATH THROUGH THEIR NOSES LIKE WE DO!!!!! Get the heck outta here with that foolishness! This one notion alone drives Techs insane!

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2. Hey Doc, I Need A Refill, I Know I Said I Didn’t Yesterday, But I Do Today. Right Now Actually. No I’m out completely…. for real…..

So, I know I went to public school. It may not have been ivy league status, but my preschool teacher taught me this magical thing called counting. It was a skill that I have used EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Apparently this skill is a lost art for many of the clients of veterinary clinics. When your pet is on chronic medication you are in the vet office often for monitoring and or refills. Well if you come for a routine monitoring visit and the Vet Tech and DOCTOR ask you do you need a refill of said medication, we are honestly asking you this. This is no trick or game we are trying to play. We figure you know the inventory of medications in your home and know when you need more. I guess we are wrong to think this. If you say that “I have plenty of medication, I don’t need anymore right now doctor” we believe this fact. We’re not the ones medicating your pet you are. Why should we not believe you. So when you call us less than 24 hours later and say you need a refill of said medication and you need it ASAP because if Fluffy doesn’t get it they break out in hives and become a lycanthrope by midnight, we become confused and pissed off. YOU KNEW YOU NEEDED MEDICATION YESTERDAY!!! If you’re in the building we can fill the script, if you call it in most likely there is a policy in place such as give the doctor 24 hours to fill it because the doctor has actual work to do such as see patients, save lives, run a damn hospital, etc. Now you’re irate on the phone and complaining about service when we tried to service your ass yesterday! Well you wait on your damn medication that we will fill, and pray your werewolf doesn’t take too many lives in the process.

(Lycanthrope=Werewolf for people who don’t want to use Google lol)

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3. Secret Keepers

These are the clients who act like they have something to hide when they make there appointment. They schedule Red for vaccines and get off the phone with a maniacal laugh to themselves. They start rubbing their hands together and in a deep menacing voice proclaim, “I’ll also bring fluffy and Sam along for annuals, and anal glands muahahahahahahahaha!” Or At least that’s what I imagine. All we as veterinary professionals ask is that when you make an appointment, make it for all that you require. It doesn’t hurt our feelings to work. It pisses us off when you add multiple things at the last friggin minute. If you show up for a dental cleaning, don’t add a billion mini mass removals that you are only getting for aesthetic purposes! You know not the wrath of a vet professional scorned, but that is the quickest way to earn it.

Now that’s all, enjoy your holiday, go have fun, and for the love of all that is only keep your pets out of the emergency clinic!

Happy holidays

Poetic ice

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Poetry

Riot!

There was no indictment
Now we must seek enlightenment/
The fact that justice wasn’t served is grotesque/
So yes, you should protest!/
Revel in your unrelenting rage!/
But let positive change take center stage/
Let’s educate and vote, not burn Walgreens/
That’s destroying people’s livelihoods, ending their means/
Change the world with your voice/
This should be the obvious choice/
The riots give the corrupt just cause/
Now they’ll feel like they can choke, just cause/
Don’t fuel their need to follow you for no reason/
A self mandate to execute you for their meaning of treason/
With more senseless destruction how can we tell who is right?/
Education, and positive action will take away their might!/
A loud, destructive riot, is a quiet meek voice./
Grow louder by joint offices and influence the choice./
Become law enforcement, engage in things political/
Stop letting life make you invisible./
Don’t give those boys a worthless death/
Work for change with your dying breath/
It is time for a regime change/
It’s not impossible, with work It’s in range/

Work hard for change, rioting is pointless. It only harms the community you wish to represent. Change your world, don’t destroy it.

Poetic Ice

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Poetry

Angels

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The ranks of the angels has yet again grown/
Another sweet loved one has been called home/
Heaven has grown happier
Yet we’re yet again are in tears/
Lord I know you need your angels
But why do you have To take them so soon?/
We weren’t finished with them yet
We had more to learn
More love to give
I’ll never know their hug or kiss again
Without them I’m a wreck I don’t know where to begin/
I know you have plans/
I know how our Lord demands/
But did you have to make them an angel so soon!?/
An angel with grace on her wings/
The angelic choir yet again sings/
I should be happy, but tears are what their song brings/
I promise not to be angry forever lord/
I know you have a plan lord/
You have gained another great Angel lord/
But for now I cry why lord?/

poetic Ice

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Poetry

Missing

I’m looking for someone/
Maybe you could help me/
Something awful must’ve happened, what have I done/

See our lives were interwoven into loves rope/
A bond that was what I thought, sacred/
But seems I was wrong, is there hope?

Hope of your secrets to come to light?/
Will I once again earn a trust I knew not I lost/
Or have you declared war, is this a fight?/

If so brandish the blades, go in armed/
If you’ve turned on me, let the  bridges burn!/
I won’t be the only one harmed/

As you cut through our memories you will know pain/
A time when you need me will arise/
But you’ll be left bleeding out in the rain/

I wanted this fixed/
You chose to shun me/
Now my rage and sorrow are mixed/

I thought you lost, a person gone missing/
A person I could one day find again/
But I found only a snake hissing/

Poetic Ice

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